the low grade anxiety that starts to pool in the pit of my stomach in the week leading up to Christmas. Will everyone be happy and will she behave, she being my grandmother who I love but sometimes don't like when her behaviour is atrocious and abominable as it was last Christmas. I used to wonder, as a child, why my mother would be so tense and irritable leading up to Christmas though she tried to hide it well. It wasn't until I was an adult woman that my mother filled me in on the conflict that she endured every single year of her married life and onwards. After all I was a clueless cossetted child shielded from all the slings and arrows of life. I think of my childhood as Camelot, it truly was that perfect, I have no memory of sadness or tension or anything until my early teens. My god, was I oblivious or what.
Now as Christmas approaches I begin to tense up and gird my loins to endure the day as best I can. Due to my insistence on having dinner out in an air conditioned restaurant we are going out to Sizzlers on the day itself for lunch, hopefully that will encourage good behaviour and manners from all.
I am expecting some fireworks from family members due to the presents I purchased for assorted family members, now most of them will accept these gifts in the vein of humour and community spirit with which it is intended but some are gonna blow up big time. I have bought presents for all family under the age of 10 but the older ones get the community spirited gifts. I have purchased assorted farm animals, their products and tools from Oxfam in order to assist needy communities to become self sufficient. I am delivering these cards explaining these gifts this weekend so I will know by Monday if I have been expunged from my immediate family or not.
Fingers crossed for me.
A friend of mine put the idea in my head, if you are an adult, you buy the stuff you want for yourself when you want it. People give you stuff they think you want or need but let's face it 8 of 10 times, it's nice but not what you really want or need unless you have clearly specified a specific desire for a specific item. This particular friend of mine is quite outspoken about not wanting gifts for birthdays or Christmas and I am happy to oblige. Except for her 40th birthday last year I bought her 40 scratchies, her birthday is in November, she was scratching scratchies for 40 days until almost January of the next year
and it amused her no end and gave me a giggle or two when i would received the odd text crowing about her winning a few dollars on that particular scratchie.
Talk about the gift that gives!
To all my blog readers, I do wish a lovely festive season celebrated however you wish to and that the upcoming year is full of all the things you wish to accomplish, see and do
Take care and Felice Navidad
Kerri
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2 comments:
Christmas used to be a huge source of angst for me because of icky family. I am finding loneliness MUCH easier to deal with than that angst, and now have Christmas on my own, maybe catching up with friends.
I LOVE Christmas but it doesn't seem to want to include me. I love both giving and receiving gifts, doesn't matter who or what it is.
Oh and the Oxfam thing is LOVELY!
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