Saturday, June 13, 2009

OMG, I did it...................

I went and bought a car, signed on the dotted line and everything. Now as I was signing on the dotted lines (there was lots of them and on many pages) my hand was cold and clammy and I looked very pale. My beloved cousin was with me as she is on all major decisions in my life, voluntarily or not. She asked me if I was OK, I just mumbled something and continued signing my life away. This experience is not new to me, anything at all to do with finances, has me plagued with a case of the screaming hab dabs (trust me they are bad). For some reason, finance and my emotions are very closely entwined. When I signed the papers for my house and realised the collosal job I had undertaken I didn't sleep soundly for many weeks and had repeating nightmares about sheriffs evicting me for non-repayment of loans and bills.
Why this is the case I have no idea, I have never not paid a bill, overlooked payment (due to messy office), but not deliberately been unable to pay it. I have never missed a mortgage payment or any other kind of big payment.
However, when it comes time to sign on the dotted line for any kind of financial agreement, I am clammy, cold, shaky and feel ready to hurl. I have a mate who has been very successful in her life through her own hard work and savvy and I was talking to her about all matters financial and she said she had no emotional reaction to anything financial, it's just another transaction.
So signing up for the car today I was rather amazed at my reaction, I had hoped having purchased a house (being usually the biggest financial transaction in your life) I would be over this visceral reaction to financial transactions. I have no trouble meeting my debts and paying them but this reaction is consistent.
In any case, pending finance approval, I will be the proud owner of a new shiny red i30 Hyundai vehicle, I stayed with Hyundai as I have had a dream run with my current car and only due to its advancing age that I have been pushed into doing this new transaction, well, truth be told, it was the hearing aids that cracked it.

I have been deeply unhappy for a long time with the quality of hearing I was actually achieving with my hearing aids, so having time to think and mull over things during the course of my holidays I came to the conclusion that I needed new ones as the impact on my life is pretty severe. I have actually turned up at work and been there for a few hours and not realised I have not turned them on because I haven't noticed the difference in sound input/output.
I am more excited about the hearing aids then the car, in actual fact, because of the overall impact it will have.
I will be able to participate in workroom conversation and hear people talking in a dinner party situation. I will not be saying "i beg your pardon" "sorry I didn't hear that" or just missing out overall.
So I shall return to work a new woman in possesion of new spectacles and new hearing aids and perhaps driving a new car but decidedly a poorer woman!

3 comments:

Cath said...

Finding priorities in life that suit you is the most important thing. A less expensive car, and being able to contribute conversationally, I think, is a justifiable trade-off! Bravo and happy driving, hearing and seeing!

Sleepydumpling said...

Woohoo! Good on ya luv! You've only got one life, and what the hey, you have to be in hock for something, set yourself up for the things that are going to be the most use to you.

Can't wait to see the new car.

Anonymous said...

I won't recognise you! Seriously, that's really exciting, and RED! It's RED! So jealous about that, Mr Joel wouldn't let me get a red one...

When are you heading off to the Sunshine Coast?

Katja