After my rant............

Thank you for the compassion! I had just heard that Mum had nodules found on her kidneys and prognosis was grim! It was an instinctive reaction that I needed to unleash and this blog is handy for those times where I just gotta say stuff....

So mum has the cancer spots on her lungs (the original sites) and a spot on her leg that the specialists don't seem altogether to bothered with and now this on her kidneys. It seems she is stuffed six ways to sunday! I galloped up there on Saturday to spend time with her and get a clearer picture of the situation.

We had the "talk", the one you have about funerals, personal preferences and locations etc etc etc and it was difficult, I went into professional "librarian" mode and asked the questions and got the answers and it was reasonably sorted. I am the executor of mum's estate, such as it is, and I need to know stuff for when the time comes. I found it relatively easy but I know that I am on auto pilot at present when it comes to my feelings about this and suspect when it is over and dust is settled, I will comprehensively fall apart.

I am great leading into and during a crisis - but not so good afterwards, so time will tell how it will all pan out.

I am lucky that work is a great distraction and i have my upcoming study to keep me busy and training to keep me focused and fit and mentally conditioned to cope. I will just have to take things as they come and deal with them as they arise. I have family whose sole purpose is to trouble trouble before trouble troubles them. But I prefer not to "trouble trouble until trouble troubles me"

Until next time..................