and what a week it's been...

I have been remiss in posting on my blog of late. But not for lack of trying just lack of inspiration or perhaps lack of clarity.



The first week of study has just passed in a blur of reading, endless reading and not the sort I enjoy - this is the stuff I have to remember so much re-reading is happening to try and cement the theories and thoughts of learned people.



This week at work was also a very intense one, we had a very successful Author talk with some 300 people attending, which takes some serious organising and arranging to go so flawlessly. The entire team performed brilliantly and really rose to the occasion and as a consequence we are all comprehensively knackered!



I have just joined up with Twitter so that I can keep up my understanding of social networking and it's real life applications. My study groups are all online and we are required to post our thoughts on the week's reading online for all to discuss and mull over. So I am currently to be found on Facebook, Twitter, Groupwise, Ning, Tagged, and MSN. By golly, there is no hiding anywhere at all!

I love the potential of weekend as yet untraversed they seem so full of potential and roads to be travelled but in reality they are filled with domestic drudge that you haven't got to during the week. My weekend will begin with karate training and end with a good bicyle ride with assorted mates!

Do what has to be done, when it has to be done, to the best of your ability, all of the time - Life's simple really when you follow this adage!

Cheerio

So it begins....

My knuckle down time is nigh! The study routine that seemed so far off in the new year is now upon me. I logged onto the Uni site and checked out various aspects of student services and finally figured out what was what, just after I sent off an email asking a fairly dopey question that I found the answer shortly after.

It will be interesting studying online as I am a tactile person like to have papers and books to touch while reading and absorbing information sitting in front of a PC reading material for study purposes has a slight unreality to it for me and I am concerned that I won't absorb information effectively in this manner. But there is a text book and I will buy it at a cool $93 thank you very much.

The topics are interesting and directly related to my daily work but the trick for me will be expressing my knowledge in a clear and effective manner suited to University standard.

Until we meet again...

My mother always told me..............

never write anything down that you don't want held against you! So I never wrote a diary or put my thoughts down on paper ever, except in a moment of teenage angst i wrote some abysmal poetry about a boy i liked who didn't return the favour and hid it carefully! Not carefully enough for my brother found it! He didn't torment me about it but mentioned it years later that he had found and read it and i was still embarrassed by that!

Now I am writing reasonably regularly on this blog and I have found I like expressing myself on this blog about things that are topical in my life but sadly some topics i have blogged about have upset people i am close to and they have expressed this anger to me so i have done as they asked and removed the link to the blog from my social networking page. But as a friend of mine says if they don't like it, then don't read it!

I feel that expressing my feelings about various things bubbling away in my life help me manage how i feel about it and stop it becoming bigger than it needs to be. I have felt a bit circumspect since my last post upset people. But, at the end of the day, i was blogging about my feeling's, i was posting about no one else's. Some days it feels like you are clinging with your fingertips on the edge of 1000 ft mountain and not much is helping you to hang on. This blog helps me keep a level head and perspective on things.

Anyway on to a more fun note, I have just spent the last couple of hours dancing around my living with my 12 year old neighbour to the Saturday night party mix and she knows the words to more songs of my vintage i might add than i do. Oh the shame!!

In addition we did some poetry on my magnetic board with my magnetic words, and it was interesting what turned out to be the end result. All in all a fun night

After my rant............

Thank you for the compassion! I had just heard that Mum had nodules found on her kidneys and prognosis was grim! It was an instinctive reaction that I needed to unleash and this blog is handy for those times where I just gotta say stuff....

So mum has the cancer spots on her lungs (the original sites) and a spot on her leg that the specialists don't seem altogether to bothered with and now this on her kidneys. It seems she is stuffed six ways to sunday! I galloped up there on Saturday to spend time with her and get a clearer picture of the situation.

We had the "talk", the one you have about funerals, personal preferences and locations etc etc etc and it was difficult, I went into professional "librarian" mode and asked the questions and got the answers and it was reasonably sorted. I am the executor of mum's estate, such as it is, and I need to know stuff for when the time comes. I found it relatively easy but I know that I am on auto pilot at present when it comes to my feelings about this and suspect when it is over and dust is settled, I will comprehensively fall apart.

I am great leading into and during a crisis - but not so good afterwards, so time will tell how it will all pan out.

I am lucky that work is a great distraction and i have my upcoming study to keep me busy and training to keep me focused and fit and mentally conditioned to cope. I will just have to take things as they come and deal with them as they arise. I have family whose sole purpose is to trouble trouble before trouble troubles them. But I prefer not to "trouble trouble until trouble troubles me"

Until next time..................

Just a statement.............

Let me just say this................


CANCER IS COMPLETELY AND WHOLLY A FUCKING BITCH OF A DISEASE!

Feeling virtous.....such a ephemeral feeling...

I have re-focused for the year to optimise the benefit of training as much as possible at Karate! So far so good! It's week 3 and I have been 8 times so far, so averaging 3 sessions a week, of course, if I really had the intestinal fortitude I wanted, I could go in the morning and on the Saturday that I don't work adding an additional 3 sessions to my week but I lack that intestinal fortitude and it would turn into something like very hard work!

So my goal is 3 sessions a week where at all possible!

I am feeling the benefits already, feeling even stronger and more grounded, if that doesn't sound too wanky! So hopefully I am able to maintain my momentum.

I am feeling excited and challenged by work, I love where I work and know that I am blessed to have a workplace such as mine. I can be myself and reasonably understood and feel relaxed. I know the boundaries and where the line is, so I can be my usual cheeky/somewhat mouthy self and know that it's ok.

I had an interesting experience, we had a vacancy to fill and I was selected to be on the interview panel, a first for me, normally I am on the hot seat, groping for wonderful answers to interview questions. I thought it almost as hard to be on the other side as to be the one being interviewed. It didn't help that the candidates were both terrific and an almost equal match for one another. But a choice was made with my colleague with some consultation from our trusty TL and candidates advised. All is well and i feel i have learned yet another thing about myself in this experience, that yes I can perform under pressure and trust my instincts as well.

There are changes afoot at work and I believe I thrive in change and being put under the hammer and am at my best when pressured! So hopefully I will produce some of my best "work" in these up coming conditions without doing my nut.

Ciao for now....

Blah...

Not a lot to say at the moment, feeling a bit off kilter. Things are a little unsettled, Mum had a Dr's appt today, no new news, just more of the same, no more chemo for the moment but perhaps radium treatment for spot on her leg but more wait and see for her, scans booked for next week and so it goes. Mum is struggling with things at the moment and there is little anyone can do for her other than offer support which seems paltry. Her main issue is fatigue and lack of energy to do the most basic things and this is making things difficult and my sister is copping a fair bit of the flak unfortunately due to proximity more than anything. So its a rough road for all at present which seems rude of me to say as I am 1 1/2 hrs down the road away from it all. This cancer business is a bitch for all concerned and not just the person who actually has the damn thing, it's effects are rippling and far reaching.
I will have to think of some things to help, my aunt phoned this morning and offered to assist with payment for a cleaner to help mum with the big jobs around the house, you know the ones, bathroom and mopping floors etc. I think this is a practical solution and will have to suss it out and see if it will help.

In any case it's a working weekend for me, so i won't be able to nip up for a visit and suss out the lay of the land, i think i will do that next weekend.

Ciao for now