Katagal Kapers

Well I think I have found something I lost a while back...

2011-12-28T01:43:00.000-08:00

I think it is referred to as "Christmas Spirit", as most of you know I have had a fairly dim and grim view of Christmas for quite some time.

I took some time to think about why I didn't like Christmas and hadn't done so for a long time and realised that I was allowing other people to colour my view of Christmas due to their past poor behaviour. So I made a point of relaxing and just enjoying being in the moment and, as a consequence, had a thoroughly lovely Christmas day being with various family members and friends that I love very much.

This is a relief to have found my missing Christmas spirit since it will make an annual even far less of a chore and endurance test than it used to be for me. Who knows I might even put a Christmas tree next year or at the very least a wreath on the front door.

Well now it's been awhile....

2011-12-16T17:03:00.000-08:00

Almost a year in fact since I last posted on my neglected blog. There has been a few reasons for this neglect but mainly I have not been in the mood to blog because I was struggling with very low energy levels and just couldn't think clearly about anything.

The low energy levels was revealed to be caused by enduring Obstructive Sleep Apnoea for probably many many years of my life. This has been alleviated by the introduction of 'Darth' in my life - a CPAP machine that forces air up into the places it needs to be and ensures I receive a proper nights recuperative sleep. I am experiencing other health issues mainly quite severe joint pain so I will be seeking the skills of a knowledgeable medical professional to enable my body to heal itself.

I am awaiting the offiical notification that I have successfully completed the requirements of my Graduate Diploma in Information Management. I believe I have but until it is in writing I am will remain somewhat anxious about the final results. This gives me the piece of paper that says I can have the job I already have but it also places me in a good position to apply for my dream job of Senior Librarian when it is recruited early in January 2012.

This is assuming that the position is recruited in a straight forward manner, but I suspect the position will be made available for people to transfer at level and I know of one person who would be interested, which would then make the position open at another library which I would apply for and hopefully get but I really truly want to be a part of the new library at Carindale which is going to be something special, so I will truly be on the horns of a dilemma.

These are the two things that are foremost in my mind at the moment, getting my body to sort itself out and let me do the things I want to do like go back to dancing and enjoy more physical activities and getting my head clear about my upcoming application for the impending vacancy mentioned above

Until next time

50 things - No.13 - Time spent with friends.

2011-02-28T23:44:00.000-08:00

Well that's why I haven't posted in so long I've been doing exactly that, spending time with friends. As time has passed I have developed a wonderful circle of friends whose company I enjoy very much. Since I have purchased my Thermomix - which deserves a post all of its own - I have been cooking up a storm in the kitchen and feeding my friends happily on the output.

I have friends from various areas of my life and most of them have met each other and they all seem to get along nicely. It is interesting as for many years I never mixed and matched my friends because I thought they may not get along, I don't know why, I get strange ideas in my head at times.

I feel so much more confident in being with my friends because I know they choose to spend their precious recreation time with me when they don't have to.

Oh I wish I could go back to my teenage years with the knowledge I have about people and redo a few things!

Till next time

What an interesting day I've had....

2011-01-26T01:42:00.000-08:00

I clippered the long hair off the head of a dear friend today.....how did this come to be, I hear you ask.

Well it started like this, a friend of mine Kath decided to challenge societal conformities and shave her head bald and at the same time raise money for Australian Cancer Council. Kath has done a remarkable job of raising money for her chosen causes of Australian Cancer Council and the Premier's Flood Appeal (due to the recent savage flooding of Brisbane). Kath put in the assorted structures for fund raising and then set about organising her support crew, of which I was one. I drive, Kath doesn't so I was always happy to be designated driver to the chosen locale of "Operation Baldy".

Then we were pottering about shopping or having coffee and she asked me to be part of her "pit crew" and assist in the shaving of her head. Now anyone that knows me generally doesn't want me anywhere near them with sharp instruments as I have a chequered history of accidental injury to myself with sharp instruments!

I was delighted to be asked but for the safety of Kath I elected to be the "macro" shaver and the other pit crew member Kylie (who is an aspiring medical student) was the "micro" shaver!

So Kath's hair was bundled up in a low pony tail so we could snip it off and then I could start clippering, well my first shock was how long it took to actually snip off Kath's pony tail, yes it was thick but I think my scissors were a bit blunt, cause I was scissoring away but only a few strands at a time were coming off. We changed scissors and then it started to happen a bit quicker, but it still took a good few minutes to cut her thick pony tail off. Then the clippers were handed to me, now I have NEVER used clippers and was worried about nicks and scratches so I took it very slowly. We did a number 3 grade clip, then down to number 2 and finally number 1 clip. Lots of photos were taken at each step.

We lathered up Kath's scalp and Kylie commenced to shave Kath's head, we were both surprised at how hard it was to start shaving someone else's head, you don't have the tactile feel that you do when you shave your own body parts so you are removed from how it felt then you had the worry of nicking the scalp! By the end there were a few tiny nicks due to Kylies efforts to ensure a very very close shave!

The amount of hair that was clippered and shaved off was amazing, and let me tell you it got EVERYWHERE! I now know I could never be a hairdresser as hair gets in the most annoying nooks and crannies of your body and it's bloody itchy!

I was very impressed with Kath's handling of this momentous occasion as I was fully expecting a lot of tears and emotions with the falling of the hair but no there were no tears,just exclamations of amazement and wonder!

I was delighted that Kath is blessed with a noggin that is shapely and can rock a bald cut in a very sophisticated manner!

Unlike my good noggin which I fear rivals Mr Potato Head for lumps and bumps and misshapen shape. Nevertheless I have decided that at a time right for me I will shave my head bald as it is one of things on my "bucket list". My hair grows quickly and abundantly so I need not be bald terribly long if I regret it.

A very interesting day all in all.............

What is a gift?

2010-12-23T04:08:00.000-08:00

This time of year, people get mighty hung up on what to buy people they love in order to demonstrate their love for them or to conform with societal expectations...I was having a chat with an old friend Dawn and she said something that really resonated and agreed with my inner being. She was talking about her new fella who had asked her about what she would like for Christmas and she stated that she wanted an experience rather than an object. She was quite adamant that she had all the things she needed with regards to jewellery, gadgets, and things. She just wanted experiences with those she loved and liked not STUFF. This I thought was a fabulous idea and I wish to take it on board and make it a rule for me and mine.

I want the gift of your time! I want you to take me out for a coffee, or a picnic or have me over for a board game. I don't need nor want stuff given to me. I am in the very fortunate position of being a white western woman with disposal income that can buy exactly what she wants, when she wants (most of the time)

I do enjoy the majority of gifts given to me, they show talent and intuition about me when I unwrap them. But the people I love and wish to have around me more than they are, I just want their time to spend with me. I want to talk and laugh and enjoy their company without fretting that they have spent money they can ill afford on me.

This coming year I want to spend time NOT money on my loved ones - Time is precious and ever decreasing, this I want to lavish on my loved one and I want them to lavish on me in return

I got sidetracked...doing my 50 things

2010-12-23T03:07:00.000-08:00

Life got very busy there for a while so my postings were put aside, so, ahem, here is the continuation of my top 50 things, now where was I...

Aah yes time spent with friends

I count myself very lucky with my friends, they come from all areas of my life and bring joy and happiness every time I meet with them. Sometimes they challenge my thinking and behaviours, sometimes they make me laugh until I cry and other times they just make me cry with them during a tough time for them. I love my friends dearly for they each bring something to me that I need and I hope that I bring something to them that they need.

I used to stress because I had friends from work, friends from Karate, friends from school, friends from dancing and friends who happen to be family that I couldn't have them all over at the same time because they wouldn't know each other, well a friend sorted me out on that count when I wanted to instigate a board game afternoon and I was fretting no one would come or no one would feel comfortable because they didn't know each other, well I worried for no reason. I invited those of my friends who I know like board games and its gone off great guns since.

I now feel confident enough to host an open house on Boxing Day afternoon and know that my friends will enjoy themselves whether they just chat amongst themselves or play board games or eat food that I make out of my Thermomix.

After all its only taken me 38 years to get to this point but I've always taken my time about these matters!

Top 50 - Number 12 - The Internet

2010-11-14T02:54:00.000-08:00

I was relatively late to having the internet connected to my abode. It was only about 5 years ago that I summoned the courage to have it. I had ready enough access to the internet at my work and it was enough for quite some years. I didn't see the need for the expense to have it connected until family moved overseas and it was proving problematic to keep in touch via before work emails etc.

I finally capitulated and got sucked into the vortex as you do when you have unlimited (well relatively unlimited) access to the internet. I got wrapped up in the whole on-line dating scene for a while since I wasn't meeting anyone interesting in real life. I was careful and cautious and always used my common sense. It served its purpose for the time being and I have now shut down my profile on the dating sites I used as I don't have time for anyone at the moment and the quality control was proving problematic.

Now I am constantly on-line since I've added social networking to my sphere and that has been a real boon, it allows me to keep in touch with far flung family and reconnect with long lost friends and family. I see the internet as a very useful tool and would be pretty lost without it but would have more free time LOL.

I now have a blog I regularly post in with great delight.

Who knows where the yellow brick road will lead me ......

Movies & Music - a combo post for my top 50

2010-11-11T03:20:00.000-08:00

I enjoy both forms of entertainment immensely but I cannot actually live without my music. I am lucky to possess an iPhone that comes complete with an iPod, I have loaded many hours of music onto it and use it everyday to listen to songs.

My workmates have been very indulgent in allowing me to have my music while I potter about setting up the library for the business day ahead, I am a compulsive early bird, generally always the first one in for a solid 45 minutes.

The iPod is on before I am in the library, I don't bother with earphones as they don't suit my aids and then I can't hear anything like the courier arriving or the phone ringing. Generally the music is up and I am singing my little heart out to whatever tune and funnily enough, my colleagues know that I am in the library! Music is on in the house, I usually just have the radio going while I am doing the housework or pottering about. The car radio is generally plugged into the iPod so again I am singing happily wherever I am going.

Now when it comes to movies, I enjoy them as much as the next person but I don't break my neck to see feature films when they come out unless it is something I am really struck on. My video membership card usually expires from lack of use. I generally have the occasional marathon of a mixture of new movies and old favourites on a quiet weekend when I am too pooped or too broke to go out.

My music tastes are fairly middle of the road, I am pretty much an 80's tragic and ballad sad sack! I loathe rap, heavy metal and that kind of music, its just noise and sounds like microphone feedback to me.

My movie choices are also fairly middle of the road, I cannot cope with horror or scary or suspense stuff. Once when my boss invited me to see "Sixth Sense" at the movies, I knew my sister had seen it, she knows what a complete sooky la la I am when it comes to scary stuff, she informed me of every scary part so I knew what to expect and so I was able to comport myself with decorum and not bellow with fright at every tense or scary moment.

Yet I am not a sooky la la in life, if there is a noise outside that I can hear (which means it must be freaking loud) then I go outside and investigate it, albeit it armed with a heavy and long object in my hand. I lived alone for 7 years before I got a flatmate and never once been scared to be on my own. But scary movies - Gah - they just wig me out, my cousin once persuaded me to watch some really scary title and I did it reluctantly in broad daylight with doors and windows open to let in the light and I still ended up behind the couch screaming my lungs out.

So that's my taste in movies and music - boring and pedestrian to some but frankly I don't give a flying patootie! I'll always listen to something new to give it a whirl and base my opinion on actual experience but if I don't like it then I don't bother with it.

Until next we meet.........

My Car/s - 41 to go of the big 50

2010-11-04T02:41:00.000-07:00

My car is rather new and spiffy..............after much agonising I traded in my faithful purple Hyundai Excel 041 FBM last July for a shiny red Hyundai i30 747 LTL and I still feel guilty! Now I am still adjusting to this new car, its dimensions and spatial surrounds are still unfamiliar to me! I had my purple Hyundai for almost 10 years and knew her inside and out. I knew exactly how she fit and how she would respond and everything about her. I know I am anthromorphising an inanimate object but so what!

I've only had 3 cars in my time as a licensed driver, my very first car was a Datsun 200B 1981 wagon - it was a perfect first car! I learned a lot of lessons in that car, primarily that you need to check the oil in an older car regularly or you are going to spend 1991 New Years Eve weekend fixing an almost seized engine under the supervision of your beloved uncle and with your cousin, who got dragged into helping me, learning far more than you ever wanted too about motor engines and how they work and in particular, why the need for oil so much!

I, no doubt, will have this current vehicle for many years since I take care of my belongings and enjoy looking after them. I spring for a full detail at least once a year to give that show room polish and glamour and the services are religiously adhered to.

I was 22 before I got my licence and it took me three tries, since the first two tries were under the misapprehension that I had excellent vision, apparently when you are around 20-21 your visual acuity can drop dramatically and it did for me but I hadn't noticed really. It was only when I was at the movies, and I asked my brother who played a particular role because I couldn't read the credits and he noted "sis you need to get your eyes checked" that I kind of realised that the world around me had softened into a gentle blur and yes that may have been the reason why I failed my licence twice thus far. Oh the joy when I got glasses, I could see definition in trees and things in the distance, like speed signs and oncoming vehicles in my path if I tried to make a right hand turn right now.

I've enjoyed my freedom that came with having a car, I was determined to be braver than my dear mum who had a 5 k radius that she would drive in and about a 45k speed limit. I have my trusty sat nav if I am unsure where I am going and just set the destination and off I go. It hasn't let me down yet, I just love it.

I am determined to do a driving holiday and see a few sights one day, may even take Dixie along for the journey! We can always bunk in the car as the back seats fold down completely now and its almost a bed size for me. However I do find driving very tiring and so far 2.5 hours is my limit before fatigue really becomes a serious issue, so perhaps I need to condition myself to longer driving periods.

We shall see...........

My Bed - 43 to Go

2010-11-02T04:27:00.000-07:00

My Bed - is my retreat from the universe! I love my bed, I love lolling about on it daydreaming about all manner of inconsequential things and just relaxing! It isn't an expensive bed just a simple Queen Bed size aluminium bed but it has lots of European pillows and normal pillows so I can pile them up to relax upon while reading. It's funny whenever I sleep in a new bed I literally have to break in a new bed, I have back pain while I adjust to it and poor sleep until my body is acquainted with its dimensions. So I miss my bed ferociously whenever I am away regardless of how magnificent the bed I might be sleeping in!

My current bed quilt was a lovely silver and white number from a little shop in Bowral NSW, I was visiting with my brother and his fiance while they were sussing out wedding venues in that area and we were checking out the town and I found this beautiful quilt and just had to have it. I had no idea how I was going to cart it home - thought I would have to air freight or post it back home to Queensland but my sister in law to be said she thought it would be OK as onboard luggage on the flight home and it was! It just really sets the room off - when the bed is properly made which is usually clean sheet night - my very favourite night of the week - I just love the smell of sun dried linen and that beautiful feel of clean sheets!

I wish I was more disciplined about making my bed and then I could more often enjoy the feel of peeling back the cover and sliding on into the haven of my bed! Instead, I just shake the sheets and rearrange the pillows and linen back into some order for I am a very restless sleeper and the bed linen and pillows end up all over the place, sometimes it looks like I've been conducting the wrestling championship in my bed.

My bed is something very dear to me.............

Writing - 44 to go....

2010-10-30T01:31:00.000-07:00

Writing - well I've always enjoyed the results of writing - READING - so you could say I've been a connoisseur of writing since I was a young lass!

But writing for myself, apart from some funny letters I wrote to my mum and some woeful love letters that I wrote to my crush (but never posted) and required writing for School and/or University, the only writing I have done with passion has been this blog. I have really enjoyed the time spent writing on this blog, posting about my feelings or ideas about a topic, or just using it as a place to safely vent my feelings and emotions about an issue.

It took a great deal of courage for me to start this blog as my mum had always taught me that never write anything down for it could be held against you. So I felt very paralysed the first few times I hesitantly put a few words down. Now mum wasn't trying to prevent me from writing she was just speaking from experience, when she was sprung writing something inappropriate at the time by her teacher (a nun), it was something very innocent and yet the nun took her to task for it and it was a lesson very well learned and passed to her children.

I am enjoying this current lot of blogging - it's called a MEME I think where you have a set agenda to post on and you go with to a specified time frame or a theme.

I find it very carthartic and rewarding, I admit to hungrily looking for comments to see if someone has enjoyed it. Now I know how to look at the statistics in my blog, I am no longer disheartened if no one comments because I know someone has at least looked! Rather voyeuristic of me I think!

So I will continue with this blog on an ad hoc basis as life takes me along its path and I have the venue to say things when and how I feel!

I encourage anyone reading who isn't currently blogging to seriously think about it!

Cheers for now............

Well my 50 things will be a combo of 4,5,6

2010-10-28T04:30:00.000-07:00

The topics are more or less interrelated for me - Recreation, Books and Reading..........

Well for me Recreation time always involves reading, to not be reading each day is anathema to me, it is a very rare night that I fall asleep without reading at least a chapter of something beside my bed. Any time spare always involves a good few hours reading, I have so many authors I love reading and so many new authors to discover that sometimes I agonise that I will die before all my reading is complete and I have read everything I have ever wanted or needed to.

If I am going anywhere pretty much my first thought is what books will I take and how many do I need. The thought of being without something to read causes something akin to a panic attack within me. When I went on my cruise I took 4 books the cruise was 5 days long so I thought I had enough but no I ran out on the 2nd last day and I was prowling the cabin looking for something to read much to the amusement of my friend & fellow cabin mate who reads horror and gothic fiction which I don't but I was desperate so I read the weird ass Jane Austen zombie novel which I rather enjoyed, not sure if it was sheer desperation that added the enjoyment or what.

Now how lucky am I, I work in a freaking library, talk about a kid in a candy store. It is heaven on a stick being surrounded by books and able to flick through and read excerpts and flyleaves and discover new authors all the time. I truly am blessed to be exposed to all the richness of the literary and published world coming through the doors of my workplace every day. I get paid to talk about reading, the pleasures of it, the different authors and genres. Is it any wonder why I love my work and am there early every day. I truly have that blessing - find what you love and you will never work a day in your life. For me, that is my life most days - well moving a library is a bit hard going but that wont' last forever.

Books, so many books in the world lay undiscovered by me as yet but I will get to them one day. My TBR (to be read) pile grows ever more plentiful and tall and wobbly. It is queer but I sometimes wish (with my fingers crossed against it actually happening) for a broken leg or some other mishap that requires bed rest but leaves me well able to read for hours on end so I can start to make a dent in my TBR pile. Being stranded on a desert island well supplied with food, shelter and other essentials is also a favourite fantasy with a unending supply of unread books and undiscovered authors.

I have never been bored (restless but never bored) and I think that is because I so love to read, there is always some place to go, someone to be, something to do when you enjoy reading. You just lose yourself in the book and you are there in amongst the characters and lose hours whiling away your life in another world. My Video rental card gathers dust since there is always a book to read, my TV languishes unwatched most days because there is a book to read. You visit my house and there will be books on the coffee table, kitchen table, the office (uni books I grant you)

my bedside table, my bedroom floor, in the car there is always an audio book on the go, on my iPhone there are audio and E-books to be read and listened to. There is usually a book in my handbag if I know I am going to a friends or relatives place and there might be down time when they are busy - some of my friends have kids that take their attention for a bit so I have a book on hand to read in the interim.

My mother would have to remove books from my hand at the dinner table and if we went to the movies, I usually would try to sneak a book in, in case the movie was something I didn't like. As a child I much preferred my world of books than real life. Toy stores didn't interest me but my mother's hand always tightened on mine when were passing by bookshops because I was inevitably drawn into the bookshop if she wasn't watching me closely I would vanish into the book shop.

Books are truly my raison d'etre.................

The Beach.....47 to go

2010-10-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

Aaah the Beach - such an icon of Aussie culture and seen as an endemic part of our society! Alas the beach is not for me, at least not in summer! Queensland summers get hot, really seriously hot and horrible...this is when hordes of people head to the beach and I cannot understand this. The beach is hot, usually very little shade, the sand is hot, and you are exposed to the sun the entire time, unless you bring along a shade hut or something similar to provide your own shade. You have to cart drinks and food along unless its a really popular beach then it might have seriously overpriced drinks and ice creams available on a kart.

Don't get me wrong I don't hate or dislike the beach, not at all, I just don't like being on it when it is hot! I love the beach in winter, at dusk or dawn and when it is building up to a storm or just after it! It is partly related to my deafness as I have to remove my hearing aids to go swimming and they are such delicate pieces of technology that I dread sand getting anywhere near them and you know how sand gets in everywhere and everything. So going swimming is not a social event as I can't communicate happily with people around me, communication can happen but its usually very loud and repeated and accompanied by hand gestures for added theatre!

I am of a very fair complexion and burn to a crisp very very quickly unless slathered in uber strength sunscreen and even then its odds on I'll get burned, I am very conscious of watching for melanomas and get screened regularly for quirky marks and odd spots on my skin.

It is funny for about 7 years we lived about 20 minutes from Noosa Main Beach known internationally as a very desirable beach and I could count on two hands the number of times we visited that beach.

Go figure........

My Dog....well my pets really No.2 - 48 to go...

2010-10-25T02:48:00.000-07:00

This is my number one beloved furball - Dixie - she is a mini foxie/chihuahua cross about 6 years old now. She is my first dog as an adult and solely "my" dog. I grew up with dogs all my life and the longest period without a dog in yard or house was while I was living with my grandmother who was allergic to dogs and would not permit me to have one.

Dixie came to me via my cousin Shanon - who as a vet nurse comes across a lot of animals who need rehoming, Dixie was on offer with a Burmese cat if I had wanted but since I had Simone (pictured above) already living at home and whose nose was already going to be severely out of joint with the arrival of Dixie I decided not to take the Burmese. I took Dixie on a week's trial but in reality it took all of two minutes to decide to keep her. Dixie has been a joy from day one. A devoted companion who really just wants to hang with me and be in my company. She is a happy friendly dog who never meets a stranger, everyone is a friend to be made. She is a little exuberant but her joy in life is something I delight in. No matter the day I have had, Dixie sheer abundant joy in my arrival home makes everything OK again.

A car ride is a sheer delight and a walk - oh my the excitement - at the thought of a walk and getting to hang with Mum is just the bees knees as far as she is concerned. I knew Dixie was truly my dog when I was hanging with some friends and their dogs and she still wanted to go with me when I stood up even though my friends had some pretty cool toys to chew and the dogs were great friends of hers. I had only had her for a few months at the time.

The family dogs in order that I grew up with in conscious memory are as follows:-

1. Winkie - a mini fox/corgi cross - the prettiest little dog you ever saw with a caramel and white coat and delicate features with a lush curly tail. But not a dog suited to children or other animals, she was utterly devoted to my Dad.

2.Bobby & Billy - two muttly mutts who were of such mixed parentage that neither looked the same breed let alone from the same litter. Billy was kinda my dog - he was black and brown and kinda kelpie in shape and nature and came to a tragic end under the wheels of a ute about 8mths into living with the family. Bobby was very short legged and ran like a seal and was a brilliant natured dog - great with kids and babies, who lived a long and interesting life until around 12 when a tick got him.

3. Bea & Lizzy - were Bobby's daughters from getting the purebred cattle dog across the road in whelp - which pleased the owner no end let me tell you. Bea & Lizzy - named after the characters from the show Prisoner - Bea was a stocky dominant bossy bitch and Lizzy was a timid skinny little thing (always started the dog fights and Bobby & Bea would finish them)

They have all left their indelible paw prints on my heart and will one day meet them again when I too cross the rainbow bridge to play with them once again.

I can't leave my 3rd furball out of the picture so there is a picture of Shadow my 3 legged Maine Coone cat as well

1 down 49 to go - Family is first

2010-10-24T02:29:00.000-07:00

Aaah Family, the one element in your life that can account for masses of happiness & joy or masses of angst & utter misery. I am blessed with a great family on the whole, there are some people within it I can happily not see or be part of their life. Those who I consider important I make the effort to see and make time for them in my life. I am the eldest of three kids in my immediate family and am the typical big sister - somewhat bossy and dictatorial but always quick to defend and protect my younger siblings, though they don't need it so much now that we are adults and busy with our own lives. But they know I am there for them at the end of the phone and ready to lend a hand or an ear and be their big sister at any time.

You know I lost my mum last year on September 6th and that is a grieving process I am told will take it's time to pass. Mum was a true mum, that was what she did, she raised us kids and did the tuckshop, school run, fetes, the usual palaver when it comes to having kids of school age!

My dad is a real dad, a bloke who can turn his hand to anything, built my brother and I the most amazing cubby house with a mezzanine level and internal staircase and everything. It was freaking unreal when I look back on it, but I didn't think it was a big deal because I thought all Dads did stuff like that. I look back at my childhood and it seems like Camelot - it really was that perfect. I was allowed to be an innocent child, not exposed to anything harsh or nasty or mean within the home at least. I never heard any fighting but then again I wouldn't have with my severe hearing loss so that probably accounted for it.

I only had my mum's parents as grandparents and they were the only source of problems that I can recall as they were divorced when Mum was 11 and caused Mum much stress and angst each and every Christmas with the whole family visitations. In fact, my Grandmother is the sole reason why I loathe and despise Christmas because of the stress she creates every single frigging year. I do love my grandmother more out of a sense of duty, I admire some elements to her extraordinary narcissistic personality but mostly I tolerate her now. She has been the cause of too much unhappiness in the family to truly have my unabiding love and affection.

Mum's sister is someone I have grown very close too of recent time mainly due to the whole experience of nursing my mum until she passed. I suspect we will grow closer when my grandmother passes away as she is an obstacle to the path of developing real closeness as she prevents us spending time together without having to justify time away just to talk and be together.

On the whole I consider myself blessed in the family in the traditional sense, then there is my family of friends who have really enriched my life exponentially since I started gathering them around me as I got older and really kept them. I have met them through a number of avenues, karate, dancing, work and online and they have really just brought me joy and happiness and lots and lots of laughter. I delight in them being my friends as much I delight in being their friend and I hope I make a good friend, I do try very hard to be a good friend.

Until next time..........

50 things to post about - once again thanks to Kath

2010-10-24T02:13:00.000-07:00

I will be posting on each of these subjects - perhaps a couple at a time depends on how lengthy the post evolves out too.

Fifty Things

1)Family
2)My dog
3)The beach
4)Recreation
5)Books
6)Reading
7)Writing
8)My bed
9)My car
10) Movies
11) Music
12) The internet
13) Time spent with friends
14) Ginger Beer
15) Hotchips
16) Tea
17) Pizza
18) Thai Food
19) Creamed rice
20) The colour purple
21) Why am i at University
22) Learning something new
23) Little people's laughter
24) The smell of wet bitumen
25) The sound of rain
26) Jacaranda trees in flower
27) Tulips
28) The Big Bang Theory
29) Storms
30) Spending time alone
31) Chocolate
32) Marshmallows
33) The sound of thunder
34) Potato crisps
35) Roast potatoes
36) Hot showers
37) Lazing in the sun
38) Meeting new people
39)Discovering long forgotten possessions
40) Learning to draw
41) Playing the piano
42) Having moments of intimate connection
43) Fantasy
44) Technology
45) Home cooked meals
46) Live concerts
47) Shoes
48) Photographs
49)Yoghurt
50)Happiness

Now it's ramped up....

2010-10-21T03:32:00.001-07:00

We are down to six weeks and counting to move a library.... to a facility that is 1/3 the size so there has been considerable collection management happening to ensure we move with the best of the collection and the rest is dealt with accordingly - Discard or Relocate essentially.

It is meaning long days and bloody hard work but I am loving it, what I am not loving are the assignment due dates and exams that are happening smack bang in the middle of it all. It is taking some doing to fit it all in. I cannot wait for 17th November as I will be a free woman as in there will be no more studies until the semester resumes in 2011.

I want to be able to come home and not feel guilty that I am not studying or reading or researching because I am so frackin' tired. I want to read all my delicious books that I have stacked beside my bed in fact I want a marathon reading session, in fact, I will dedicate a free weekend to my bed and my books I think and read until my eyes fall out. I want to unpack my sewing machine and use it, I bought it and brought it home and laid it in my hallway where it has resided ever since,

I want to have some more board games and stitch 'n bitch sessions which are yet to happen but I will make them happen. I want to go cycling and play outdoors. I just want time to do as I please when I please.

I remind myself it is only 2 more assignments and 1 more exam and I am done for 2010 then really 2011 is just one more year and come this time next year I will be pretty much done for formal studying, I will never stop learning but I will stop formal studying unless it is for something I want to do, like learning to play the saxophone or revisiting my piano playing days. I wonder if I could fit a piano in my humble sized townhouse. Perhaps I could!!!

There is a family piano I could lay claim too and have restored and really make it my own.

Food for thought there!

Always plenty of ideas brewing away and usually reasonably achievable.

Time is a precious resource and most definitely not infinite

Until next time........

The End of an Era....

2010-09-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

It was a sad end to a busy day yesterday. I swung by my cousin's place to pick up her foster kitten and get the details for caring for her animals while she goes camping with her family for the weekend. I arrived to see young Mitch's sad bereft face and he tearfully informs me that teepee (Cheetah the cat) had died, Cheetah had been around for as long as Shanon and Chris had been together some 16+ years so he was a real acknowledgement of time passing for them. He certainly had been around every day of Mitch's existence on this earthly plane. Cheetah's death I think is the first real bereavement in Mitch's life certainly for something that had been with him in his daily life. So there was a real milestone achieved for him yesterday and he handled it well, he was guided carefully by his mum who knows this pain all too well as she has been through it many times in her life and will go through it many times more before she too departs the earthly plane.

Cheetah was one of those very cool cats for whom nothing fazed him. Dogs were immediately put in their place and requested to respect or suffer the consequences, other cats were subservient to him and humans requested to pat and show affection when it suited. He would always greet me at my car door and chat to me all the way to the inside of the house, where he would make it plain that since I clearly come to visit him, could I make myself useful and feed him please. He will be missed.

When you lose an animal after they have been part of the family for a long time, there is a real sense of bereavement and loss. I get cross when people minimise it by saying "oh well, just get another one" or "it's only an animal". They are part of the family and should be shown the same respect and acknowledged for the love and joy they brought to the family. I still remember all the animals that have passed through the family and left their paw/hoof/claw prints on my heart.

I know when the time comes when each of my three begin their journey over the rainbow bridge where they will wait for me, my heart will break, but it doesn't stop you from enjoying the time you do have with them.

The movie starring Robin Williams "What Dreams May Come" brought me completely undone when the Robin's character is in heaven and the family dog (long passed) comes bounding up to him in full health and happiness. That's what I hope for one day is reunited with all the animals past, present and future that I have loved along with family & friends who have passed on too.

Till next time

Anniversaries & Celebrations....

2010-09-12T01:54:00.000-07:00

Well what a week it was!

Last Monday was the anniversary of Mum's passing and as a precaution I took the week off as I was very unsure how I would be travelling emotionally during the time.

As it turned out being up the coast in the house Mum lived in was hard for my brother and I if we were by ourselves in the house but fine when everyone was there. It triggered lots of memories as we went into the various rooms and a memory would be triggered of the last time with Mum with whatever happened on that occasion.

Being with Dad and Von and Steve was great, Dad was in his element having all his chicks with him, it was bitter sweet as he and Mum used to compete for our attention when we were altogether but now it is just him and no need to compete for our attention. He cooked dinner and fussed around us all. It was great

The scattering of the ashes was done on a beautiful day and I think it was as Mum would have wished. I felt a bit less loaded down with emotion as I rather dreading the whole thing but I was actually quite unemotional about it all during the whole event.

Steve did a beautiful thing of buying a dwarf lemon tree for me and lime tree for my Aunty P (mum's sister) and potting them up in a pretty pot with a little gnome and some of Mum's ashes. It was a very sweet thing to do but with my history of brown thumbs and dead plants, the pressure is on to keep this one thriving.

The week up the coast was ended on a lovely note, with a terrific engagement party hosted by my Aunty L (Dad's sister) who lives on a picturesque property with views to die for. The city folk amongst us all really enjoyed looking at the view of rolling hills, lush green trees dotted with cows and horses.

The family as a whole are so very excited to have a wedding to look forward too as my brother's fiance is a big hit with everyone, she is a darling sweetheart and universally loved by us all which is rather a magnificent feat as we are not predisposed to universally liking an individual, there are usually factions for and against an interloper (in-law to be)

I am terribly excited about the wedding and am very much looking forward to it and am looking to have a frock made up as the current dress fashions are leaving me a bit ho hum. I have a dress in mind and hopefully a dressmaker can bring it to life for me.

This week has really brought home to me that families however they are constructed - whether they are your family or friends you have claimed as family -are so very important. I have really enjoyed reconnecting with far flung relatives and old family friends this week.

Till next time...........

Good news....

2010-07-13T02:22:00.001-07:00

I got the role that I had interviewed for. It is the senior librarian role and comes with a fairly significant burden of responsibility, none of which fazes me. However, I am having to learn the art of discretion and diplomacy. The most innocent of remarks can get you in hot water and very very quickly too. I've already had a please explain about some loose comments made outside the "safe zone". Hopefully I won't repeat that mistake again. I have a fairly innocent mind by that I tend to mean what I say without secret hidden meanings behind it and forget that some are suspicious and will seek to laden more meaning than intended to a remark that I make. I suppose that makes me somewhat naive and non-politically savvy. I shall have to live and learn that skill I suspect.

I am really excited about the role and hope that I obtain the skills & experience I need to ensure that I obtain the role permanently in due course.

I am about to resume my studies for Semester 2 and hope I do just as well or better in this upcoming Semester. I think I have a far more clear understanding of what it takes and how to pace myself along to ensure the best outcome barring any unforeseen hiccups.

I enjoy being busy and productive, I guess that's become fairly self evident. I sometimes wonder why, is it because I have no partner or kids to sublimate myself into caring for? Or is it that I am just a happy camper when I am busy doing stuff?

Humph Kitty Flanagan just disparaged author visits at libraries on 7pm project on Channel 10, indicating it's a snooze fest. Hmmm I guess you can't please the ignorant nor the stupid

Until next time ...

Waiting for news....

2010-07-04T02:40:00.000-07:00

is never very much fun! Currently I am awaiting the results of my interview last Wednesday, it is for the role that I am currently acting in and I feel that I have the ability, confidence and nous to really make the role sing for me.

However, whether I conveyed that in the interview remains doubtful. I had the interview with two people who know me very well, both my strengths and weaknesses and I found it hard to perform my song and dance in front of them. If they had been strangers or at least people I don't see very often it would have been easier.

I know that if I don't get the role I will be very very disappointed with myself for a little while, however, I will bounce back for I am resilient and practical about these things in the long run but I will indulge in a royal sulk for about 20 mins or so if I am unsuccessful. I had some formidable competition so I will have to wear the results with good grace etc for the next six months should it not go in my favour.

On another more positive note, I've had a wonderful birthday weekend. The actual birthday itself was terrific, yes I had to work but my workmates spoiled me royally and indulged me with delicious chocolate mudcake. Then I had a stitch 'n bitch night with girlfriends where I was surprised with a lovely gift from a gal I've met once or twice before and knew it was my birthday courtesy of Facebook and gave me a lovely butterfly shaped notepad, twas lovely.

Then it was my birthday lunch, now I've had a phobia about setting up birthday functions in my honour for fear of non-attendance by invited people, but my dear friend Kath, gave me a gentle wake up call by reminding me that I am surrounded by people who love me and would, of course, attend a birthday function in my honour, so thanks Kath, I had a great day. I get strange ideas in my head sometimes and need a rational voice to sort me out.

So I have vowed to have a birthday function of some type every year from now on!

Til next time

Au revoir

Today is my birthday...

2010-07-01T13:20:00.001-07:00

and it's usually a time that I reflect on how blessed and fortunate I am. I usually start with thinking about the fact that I am single, white, western woman who has the independence and as a consequence financial wherewithal to please myself (up to a point), there are many of my sisters who don't and suffer badly for that lack of independence and finances.

Then I think about myself in relation to other people in my life and why they are here with me, family tend to be a given but I choose to be with them and keep in touch with them and I do so for many reasons but number one is because I love them. Then there are my friends, who really are the family you would choose for yourself if you didn't already have a family that you are deeply connected with. I have friendships that I have made long ago and that are still going pretty strong and made ever so much easier with technology, because let's face it without Facebook or other social networking options we would be limited in how many phone calls or texts one would make.

I have new friendships that are proving to be wonderful, fulfilling and interesting and have exposed me to new opportunities and experiences. I have friendships that have been challenging the way I think about things and made me be more accountable for my actions and thoughts. Then there are my colleagues who wherever I may be make my days at work fun and enjoyable and make up a bit of a motley family unit too. Where I am at the moment, we have experienced many sadnesses together and celebrated the highs together, we pull together and work really well. I would have been lost without their support in the last 18 months and they made things so much easier than they may have been otherwise.

All in all I am a very blessed and fortunate person to have many wonderful special people in my life

Greetings.....

2010-06-15T13:42:00.001-07:00

It has been awhile hasn't it. It seems a lot of bloggers I know have been a little slack in the posting department but it seems to be a busy time of year.

I've been thinking about happiness and what it is for me. Happiness to me is finding something every day that makes smile, giggle, guffaw or shriek out loud with laughter. Now those of you who know me, know that I have not a delicate tinkling laugh, no, there isn't anything remotely resembling delicate about me. I have a raucous laugh and I am proud of it, it identifies me very well. People frequently hear me before they see me and are often smiling before they find me. This is good I like to share my happiness in the ridiculous. I take pleasure that I make my colleagues giggle or laugh everyday even when they often haven't a clue what they are smiling or laughing about except that I am doing it. It brings an energy and uplifts the atmosphere. When I do storytime I am in there unleashing my inner child, dancing and laughing and using silly voices.

When I am doing the morning money, the music is on and up loud and I am singing, which has people laughing and grinning when they arrive to work, because my singing voice has to be heard to be believed it is so bad, but frankly, I don't care.

It is not to say that I don't have sad, quiet or blue days but I am blessed that they are few and far between and that I am not cursed with clinical depression which strikes a few of my nearest and dearest friends and family regularly and they have to fight tooth and nail to flog the black beast back down to size.

I think that being happy and sharing my happiness in everyday life is a gift I am blessed with and it is my obligation to share that positive energy and make the people around me enjoy the moment or the day or however my positive impact may last.

If I start the day happy then it cannot be a very bad day because I am already on top of the happiness heap.........

Ahem, Hello, erm I know it's been awhile

2010-04-10T04:51:00.000-07:00

But holy guacamole life has been busy...Yes yes I know I say that everytime but c'mon you know its true.

Study is progressing as study does, with lots of reading and thinking and then comes the writing. Which is why I am posting on my blog, it is part of my retinue of study or assignment writing avoidance techniques. I like the assignment I have written, whether the marker does is an entirely another thing. But c'est la vie. Being an external student requires one to maintain a sense of perspective and commonsense, it is very easy to feel completely and utterly alone when you are really really not, lots of my colleagues are studying and doing very well. But commonsense and perspective are sometimes hard to come by late at night on the weekend.
Another assignment I am enjoying researching is all about Second Life & Libraries but I am a single task at a time kinda gal - so focusing on the other assignment at the moment. Second Life can wait till next week.

On a brighter note I am booked to go on a cruise on 24th April, my very first cruise ever, a fact my sister (a travel agent) is jubilant about, she has been on my case to take a cruise for a long time. I have firmly resisted for years because I am terrified to the marrow of my bones of drowning. I have no idea why but that hands down for me is the number one very bad no good way to die. The movie Titanic has a lot to answer for. This fear is odd since when I was nobbut a young lass we used to spend the Christmas holidays on my dad's boat, we lived on it for weeks at a time and I don't remember being in terror when on the boat, but then my dad was a superhero in my eyes so I probably had a bone deep faith that he would always save us if something went pear shaped on the boat.

So I am determined to enjoy myself on the cruise, with recreational reading, reasonable consumption of fruity cocktails with umbrellas in them and loafing on a sun lounge featuring fairly high on the list of things to do.
I am going with a mate who is a real go getter on the activities front so I am sure I will be entertained as often as I choose to be. There will be another lass coming along whom I haven't met but I trust Dawn with bringing her along and I am fairly easy going and it is only seven days so the risk of stroppy tanties happening is fairly low.

I have got a good strong start to this module of Karate, I am really enjoying this Kata - Pinan Shodan - it is a kata I struggled with the first couple of times I did it, but repetition has done the magic trick and I can recall it with reasonable ease and perform it with marginal competence - no kata is ever perfectly executed - humans are not perfect therefore kata cannot be perfected. The instructor who has been doing the majority of instructing for our class this module has been riding me hard and really pushing me out of my comfort zone. Calling me up out front to demonstrate the kata to the lower grades and it is well know that the best way to learn something is to teach or demonstrate it. I am benefiting from that although I feel daft when I screw things up which I do most nights and sometimes several times a night but you live through it and feel better for having learned from it.

Cycling unfortunately is something I have not had an opportunity to do much of yet. Time is a precious resource and allocated according to need. But Goldie waits faithfully for me to take her out for a spin. I need to organise a play date for Goldie and Iris to meet and cycle together. Iris is a gorgeous Amsterdam bicycle that my friend Kath purchased recently. So the motivation is there to get out there and cycle but presently time is a little short but I will get there soon I promise.

Finally, this coming week I return to my substantive role after having been in higher duties of one kind or another since November 2009. It has been a marvellous learning opportunity and I have had a wonderful time developing skills and thinking about the direction and trajectory of my career and I have decided that the role of Senior Librarian in a hub library is just tailor made for this little black duck. Now I don't know how long it will take for me to secure a role but I am a patient lass and always always always achieve my goals. I may make like a tortoise and seem to take forever but the tortoise won in the end didn't he.

That about wraps it up for this time, and now I am not going to make any rash promises about my next post, it'll happen when the time and muse strikes

Cheerio for now

My My Where did the time go..............

2010-02-20T14:10:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've posted hasn't it. I guess not a lot of post worthy things have happened to me. However I am feeling re-inspired to post more regularly on my blog since I attended the PODcamp conference at the Gold Coast Library which dealt with all things related to social media. It was a very interesting day looking at various social media and it's impact on people's lives. So I feel somewhat re-invigorated about being more active in my online presence.

However, the more pressing news is that tomorrow is the official kick off day for studying. It's something I am fairly anxious about but figure I just need to start and the rest will fall into place. I do have a colleague at another branch studying the same subjects so that will be good to have a study buddy who understands or doesn't understand what you do or don't understand too.

That's about it for me for the moment, hopefully I won't be as tardy posting the next instalment

Busy Busy Busy...............

2010-01-16T02:19:00.000-08:00

At the time of writing I am just returned from an 80th Birthday Party celebration of a neighbour from Cooroy - this woman is just amazing, her lust & verve for life is insatiable. Every day to her is a gift to be explored and used and enjoyed to the nth degree. She just wrings every precious second out to the end. The common refrain from friends, neighbours and family was " I wish I had half her energy right now let alone at 80" or "Joanie's amazing, I wish I had the energy" and other similar statements.
This got me thinking, this is a woman whose life has been interesting and full of adventures, but not because she is a particular beauty, particularly gifted, or blessed with any other rare or special traits. She has a fair ear for playing music and a reasonable singing voice, but again, nothing particular outstanding.
I think her secret to an interesting and adventurous life is that she is always on the lookout for things to do and opportunities to do them in. Now she loves to be the centre of attention and thrives on being the life and noise of a gathering. You always know when Joanie's around.

She is very involved in her community and has many a clipping with her name in the headline involved in one community activity or another, mainly to do with Pony Club & Active Riders Association.

She annoys people because she is so loud and sometimes she doesn't know when to pipe down and can seem obnoxious on occasions, but who among us is without fault.

Her life is not without tragedy or great sadness but nothing gets her down for too long. She is the only remaining child from a family of twelve kids. I think her secret is her resilience and innate positive nature. She takes joy from anything and everything around her. Her cackling laughter is contagious and her quick wit is delightful.

She, in fact, taught me to swear fluently and fluidly without repeating myself for a solid six minutes. Sadly I have rather lost the knack for it and tend to repetition to some favourite swear phrases.

I wonder what sort of life I shall have had by the time I reach 80, I know it won't be full of family to the extent of Joan as she was from a very large family. But I am hopeful it will be with people who are important to me both family and friends. Particularly, as friends are the family you choose yourself.

It is exciting to think what the future will hold for me and my beloved ones both friends & family. I shall rejoice and live a little more in the moment to be sure that I wrest as much from each day as Joanie does.

I'm excited................

2010-01-06T02:26:00.000-08:00

The tone for this year has been well and truly set - my darling brother announced his engagement to his long time love on January 3rd and it has been an absolute boon to the family after our bereavement of last year. As my brother said it feels good to be happy!

It is not to diminish our grief because it is still everpresent but perhaps it is retreating a little to a softer more gentler place where the memories are easier and don't bite so hard into one's heart. Time is doing what time does best - softening the edges ever so gently.

They are both very clucky so babies won't be too far behind the horse and carriage caper and of course there will be a new Mrs Baillie in the family and that is just simply fabulous.

I have been enthusiastically planning my goals and aspirations for this year and had a massive boost to my self confidence by my supervisor and upper management who saw fit to entrust me with the managing of my branch for a couple of months. I have really enjoyed extending myself and problem solving and managing staff. Yeah there are things that are irritating & aggravating but it doesn't last long and for the most part I am loving it, learning processes and methods and nitty gritty of paperwork.

I have just two goals this year which are to get through my study load comfortably and keep steadily progressing through my karate modules.

Other things I want to factor in are

1. Sunday afternoon board game sessions - I have been somewhat obsessive of late buying board & card games - 12 at last count. I really love playing them and want to set up & host sessions for friends to come over and have a session

2. Sunday afternoon knit & bitch sessions - I want to learn and practice my knitting - I believe if you have good fine motor skills, it keeps you in good stead in fighting off the ravages of time

3. Also slotting in regular cycling jaunts too - my aim is to be well conditioned & feeling fit & flexible - so I don't groan when i bend over to shelve or pick up stuff.

4. Also am going to do more nifty weekends away and see a few places - starting with a quick weekend in Sydney at the end of February to celebrate my brother's birthday and check out their new abode in Marrickville which is a suburb I am unfamiliar with but am promisd it is a treasure trove of groovy cafes and nooks and crannies to explore.

So I will be ruthlessly planning my time for study, work and fun to ensure I am well balanced & content. However, as my sister has said, Sis, you are never happier than when you are insanely busy and got a deadline to hit.

I think that is enough to be going on with for now

Cheers

Good news...

2009-11-23T04:06:00.000-08:00

I got a tap on the shoulder today to act in the Hub Team Leader role at my library today. I am very excited and challenged at the thought of it.

It's a big step up and I know I can do it, I am lucky to have the support of my team at the library and staff at headquarters, help is only a phone call away should i get stuck.

I have many things to learn and skills and techniques to develop over this time and will milk it for all the experience i can during the time.

Yay for me

I won an award ...how exciting

2009-11-22T02:42:00.000-08:00

Sleepy Dumpling awarded me the HONEST SCRAP award - *blush* thank you

So here’s the deal.

1) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.

2) Tell those 7 people they’ve been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

3) Share “10 Honest Things” about yourself.

So the 7 other blogs I am sharing this award with are:

http://fatheffalump.wordpress.com/

http://whenjoelmetkate.com

http://nonplusnonsense.blogspot.com/

and a few more when I find them perhaps I will award them but these three particular blogs are must reads for me and often give me much food for thought.

1. Grasshoppers/Locusts scare me silly, want to terrify me, just wave one of those suckers at me and watch me bolt.

2. Clowns unnerve me deeply. I am uncomfortable looking at clowns, seeing them dressed up in circuses and don't get me started on those hideous clown masks and blowing up balloons causes my heart to pound quite violently due to one bursting in my face as a child

3. I can't be around people constantly I need a lot of down time by myself. I find family gatherings unnerving and can always be found in a quiet corner somewhere after a few hours

4. I love board games and want to set up a board gamers group that meets regularly

5. I failed my driver's licence test twice before I realised that my eyesight had deteriorated markedly.

6. I solemnly and truly believe that I will be alone for most of my life with perhaps periodic relationships but am utterly OK with it although many many other people are not

7. I place a lot of value on my word and do my utmost to keep it and the few times I couldn't has caused a great deal of angst

8. I love being a public servant, I might whinge and moan but I like helping people and being able to assist them wherever i can.

9. I prefer being with my animals that with a majority of people

10. I love Facebook for the simple fact I can stay in touch with people but on my terms

There are my 10 honest things about me that you may have or may have not known about me

It's beginning to look a lot like.....

2009-11-22T02:19:00.002-08:00

Baking - yep you read it right, I have a sudden and compelling urge to bake cakes, biscuits, muffins and all manner of baked goods. This urge hit me fair and square on a quiet friday afternoon, i must bake that night. So I polled my trusty colleagues as to what is necessary to have a standard fare for baking needs,and off I went, after work to buy said ingredients, some $96 later, I have enough stores for all manner of baked goods but not quite yet the skills to use them all. I have a groovy little bakery recipe book that was written and published by the Sandgate Historical Society and it filled with simple but very tasty recipes for a cock eyed beginner such as myself. So I have started with a simple chocolate cake that went down a treat with work mates today, judging by the fulsome praise I received from them all, and a lovely cinnamon teacake that my flatmate and I enjoyed over a cuppa tonight. I have never enjoyed cooking for myself and rarely like eating what I cook, those of whom I have cooked for before have always enjoyed it, but I think its the process of cooking by the time I have it cooked it, I am more or less over it and have lost my appetite. Yes I have cooked and then eaten the next day but still always the leftovers are more than one person can eat.

So I think my workmates are going to be benefiting most of all from this current craze of mine as I practice and develop my skills in baking. It certainly is cheaper than spending a fortune on cakes and cheesecakes from Michel's Patisserie and Cheesecake Shops whose premises I have patronised so fervently over these few years. I am lightyears away from the standards they have but perhaps one day.

Then of course I had to buy more baking tins, different sizes and shapes you see and some more measuring gear, I think that is as much fun as baking. I love wandering through kitchen ware shops and linen shops.

Oh well, am off to bake some more.....

I leave you with the following thought -

When I walk into my kitchen today, I am not alone. Whether we know it or not, none of us is. We bring fathers and mothers and kitchen tables, and every meal we have ever eaten. Food is never just food. It's also a way of getting at something else: who we are, who we have been, and who we want to be.
Molly Wizenberg, A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table, 2009

2009-11-22T02:19:00.001-08:00

Needs must.....

2009-11-18T01:04:00.000-08:00

Well I am back from the coast after doing the not so fun job of packing up mum's things, my sister and I approached from a perspective that it has to be done and done quickly and painlessly as possible. So we sorted through things and decided the keepers, the chuckers, the donations and went from there. It is now very much my sister's abode which is fitting as she is paying the rent and it is her house.

We cleared out the old mismatched cutlery and crockery - kept a few sentimental pieces and descended upon my favourite shopping haunt, the trusty Big W. I told my sister to pick a dinner set she liked and doubled it and cutlery set she liked and other bits and pieces needed as she is shaping up to be rather a canny cook and shouted her the lot as my contribution to this new phase of her life. I love buying my nearest and dearest what they want and need rather than wandering around aimlessly trying to guess.

As a result of this cleaning I have a bootful of mum's clothes deemed suitable for donating, I have my eyes peeled for the donation bins that used to reside at every servo you drove past but, as usual, the minority who misused and wrecked the bins have now forced charities to be extremely discerning where they place their bins, which in turn, makes it difficult for myself and others to unload charitable donations.

I have dropped off some of the various memorabilia that would be of interest to various parties and have yet more to post to other parties, that would be meaningful for them to have rather than myself or my siblings.

I now have bits and pieces of paperwork to finalise and organise, things to post, presents to wrap, mementoes to keep safe until I can get them to the respective people.

I wonder if it's a niche market that could be utilized but I guess it is such a personal thing to pack up a deceased estate that unless you are wealthy or utterly alone, there is always someone to do it on your behalf.

This experience has certainly made me determined to keep the clutter under strict control and keep a rein on paper and other piles of crap that accumulate quicker than baby rabbits!

I feel better now that job is out of the way and less reminders are about to poke you in the eye all the time!

Au revoir..............

Tick, now what's next..........

2009-11-08T18:25:00.000-08:00

I have had a lazy weekend, as I decided to treat myself to one as I wasn't well earlier in the week and thought it wise to just rest and take it easy to ensure that I am back to my normal chirpy self. However today being monday, I had a small list of things to do and have now done them all, it is funny, these items don't take long to sort out but you put them off and put them off and suddenly a month or more has passed since the task first needed seeing to.

1. Organised a copy of the receipt for my hearing aids so I can claim the lousy $600 back from my health insurance for my $5000 hearing aids.
2. Emailed my request to resume my studies for Semester 1 2010, so fingers crossed they decide to have me back as a struggling student.
3. Phoned and found out what is required to close down accounts in mum's name, not a particularly pleasant job but needs must.
4. Paid the ever present bills that always make themselves known to you!
5. Eyebrows shaped, tinted and tidied -always feel untidy if my brows are untidy.

This weekend coming up will be a tough one as I am heading up to my sisters place to clear out Mum's things and make the bedrooms vacant and non personal. So it will be a bit of teary time I suspect but hopefully not too much of a blubber fest.

Doing, Going and Being..........

2009-10-29T04:42:00.000-07:00

I am doing lots of things, going lots of place and being with lots of people and yet not feeling much of anything. It's a weird sensation, I enjoy being with the people I choose to be with and enjoy doing the things I am doing but it feels very much that I could be doing something entirely different and I would feel the same, like something just drifting along with the flow. I suppose I will snap out of this lacklustre feeling eventually - just feel like a sepia version of my normal self at present.

My favourite..........

2009-10-14T03:44:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about favourite things, like favourite days, favourite times, in fact all manner of favourite things.

Favourite day of the week - is generally Monday, I only work one in four mondays so I always feel naughty not working then and its a good feeling. I don't think after all these years I could go the 9-5 Monday to Friday route. I don't mind working every second weekend for the trade off of having Mondays off.

Favourite night of the week - is clean sheet night, that first sleep in your beautiful sun dried linen is truly blissful.

Favourite colour - is purple, my bedroom is painted a soft purple and is very calming and soothing to me. I had a purple car until recently alas the i30 did not come in any shade approximating purple. Very short sighted of Hyundai I thought.

Favourite recreation - is reading, I just love reading, it soothes me and seduces me, I completely lose myself in what i am reading and just become part of the story.

Favourite TV show - I could re-watch West Wing over and over, I have watched it straight through at least three times.

Favourite place in the house - is the new outdoor setting, I will be spending many hours happily whiling away hot summer nights outside reading and listening to music out in my courtyard. I have the choice of a comfy chair or lazy lounger.

These are just a few of my favourite things, hmm now that sounds familiar

Until next time...

Not much to say really......

2009-10-07T15:44:00.000-07:00

still going through the process of grieving which will be what it will be I guess. I am trying to not be impatient with myself and allow it to happen as it will.

Admittedly I am keeping myself busy and distracted most of the time with work, friends and family. I will resume Karate training next week with the beginning of the new module and this time I plan to graduate with the next belt which will be purple with white stripe - Mmm purple - my favourite colour.

I have bought an iPhone and am very happy with it, although listening to messages and trying to skip through them caused a bit of angst the other day, but I eventually figured it out.

I have pulled the plug on developing a relationship with W as I just wasn't feeling anything more than mateship and you need that spark to fire things up and it just wasn't there for me. I am disinclined to let things drag on and made it clear to him that it was back to our cycling mateship for me.

Going to spend the weekend with Von and Dad, it is Dad's birthday on Sunday and since Mum passed away on Father's Day I would like to make a bit of a nicer fuss over Dad than what occurred on Father's Day. Von has a Hen's night to attend on Saturday so I will probably go out to dinner with Dad then and catch up with Von on Sunday and Monday.

That's about all that is going on for the present and will post again sometime soon

Au Revoir

It's been awhile...

2009-09-19T02:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a tumultous few months and I have come through it intact. Mum passed away peacefully on 6th September and we farewelled her off in style true to her character on the 9th of September.

I have been so very well supported and have discovered new depths to old friendships and relationships with people as a consequence, which has been so rewarding and fulfilling.

I am now just taking time to breathe and enjoy the simple things in life and allow time to add its final gentle touch to the grief.

Relationships are a funny thing, romance or otherwise, and depend so much on the timing or where you are in your life, I have put the kibosh on developments with W as I feel not able to be in a relationship with him through no fault of his or mine for that matter. I am 37 years old and frankly I like things how I like them and at present unwilling to make changes to accommodate someone else, that may change in the future, who knows?

I have always been a solitary creature by nature and have to force myself to interact with people to maintain the social habits required. I am looking to take up new hobbies and want to learn to sew properly, I have bought a sewing machine which hasn't seen the light of day since I bought the thing but plans are afoot for me to learn to use it, just want to sew hems, cushions covers, simple things and see how i go from there. I also want to start volunteering regularly perhaps with the RSPCA as I am good with animals and don't mind doing the hard yards where looking after them is required. So I will take the time to look at what is out there and pick and choose what I would like to contribute to society. I have just the final paperwork to put together to get my JP qualifications but I have been a little busy with other things this week so I will finalise that on monday I hope and send off the application to be considered.

I am excited about the future and what it holds for me. I will resume my deferred studies next year as a fresh year full of possibilities and interesting times. Mum will be cheering me on from upon high, that I know, for a fact.

I will be seeking new topics to blog and look forward to suggestions from my readers

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.
Gerry Spence, 'How to Argue and Win Every Time'

Another sunny day....

2009-07-20T21:15:00.001-07:00

Just back from a meander along the river with mum in her trusty wheelchair, we sat and watched the world go by and had an ice-cream each. It is truly the simple things in life that are the best and I aim to do as many of the simple things with mum while we can. Tomorrow we are going to venture to Noosa Library and have a look at the audio books on offer, mum has been asking for a while to do this but hasn't been in the best shape to do it but for the moment she is good, so we will get while the getting is good.

I am happy spending time with my mum and sister, in particular, with my sister as an equal, although she will always be my baby sister, I have been quietly stunned at how brilliant she is at looking after mum at her worst and how capable and mature she is at managing everything around her. It has been an eye-opening experience as this has been the longest period of time that we have spent together, at other times when I have been up, she has been at work and doing her thing so we haven't spent a great deal of time together.

Mum is in marvellous hands with my sister and I have no doubt she will cope brilliantly during the week and I can come up on the weekends to relieve her for a couple of days so she can decompress and destress.

In other news, my parents and my sister have met W, the new fellow in my life and he's got the seal of approval from them. He survived the inquisition with panache and didn't run shrieking for the hills, so he has potential. With all else going on, W has been patiently awaiting his turn for my attention, and has placed no demands on my time, which is very considerate of him. It is still early days for me and I have no idea where it will end up but am just taking it day by day.

You just never know what is around the corner.........

Let me just adjust my chair....

2009-07-14T02:07:00.000-07:00

I am pondering what to post, all sorts of things have been going on, and it's been a rough couple of days, in fact this past Sunday and Monday were two of the most stand out most horrible shittiest days of my life thus far. For various reasons I won't go in to the revolting details but most of it was down to the stress levels tipping key people over the edge and causing them to verbally abuse me and mine for no real reason. In addition, Mum's condition has caused her to be confused about her choices for care at this time, in spite of us having carefully discussed all facets of her care when the time came, she is now at the polar opposite of whatever choice she made previously while of sound mind and body.

Nothing works out as planned, you are told one thing and the reality is completely something else, you are made to feel stupid and dramatic for wondering how you can manage things better.

We are now at the point of having to work out care for Mum as the Sunshine Coast is abysmal in its lack of proper palliative care. In Nambour hospital "we just stick 'em where we can find a bed" to use the words of Mum's palliative care doctor. Which means noise, chaos, coming and going of all manner of people at the point where you want quiet and peace and time alone with loved ones whilst having professional care for medication & comfort.

The one thing I have learned out of all this, should I ever be cursed by this disease, I shall not allow this to be my fate - a judicious plan of self-euthanasia will be in place and I will avail myself of it and enact it when I deem necessary.

I feel empty and discouraged and terrified at the moment and have no idea how quickly things will progress, it is literally a day by day thing.

Pointy end of the pineapple....

2009-07-08T01:26:00.001-07:00

Mum's condition is deteriorating to the point where serious issues have to be discussed and addressed - which is the purpose of this weekend's visit. My sister and brother will be there to have a round table discussion about various aspects of mum's continuing care and future management. My sister has been doing an absolute sterling job in our (her older siblings) absence and I am so proud of her and so worried for her at the same time. Only 25 and dealing with a fairly heavy emotional burden and still relatively sane. I have had the "talk" with mum and know what her wishes and desires are, however, my siblings don't as they both are younger than me and I guess Mum thought as the oldest it was my role to manage these things and truly, it is an honour to carry out things as Mum wishes, but I just have to relay this information more clearly to my siblings and other family members.

It is a true dichotomy for me at the moment, as everything else in my life is wonderful, I am really and truly happy with all aspects of my life (excepting mum's deteriorating health). I have a new fellow who is very keen on me although very early days, it is lovely to be desired and thought so well of. I work with wonderful people who cannot do enough to support me and offer me so much. My home life is great, Pete my flatmate is a cool dude who is great to share a house with. The furballs grant love unconditionally. I have wonderful friends who do nothing but give me love, support and happiness each in their different ways, who have gorgeous babies I get to spoil, interesting lives that I get to vicariously live through. I have my training to get back too when things are settled and study to look forward to next year. I have such a rich full life that I feel very blessed most days, but I have to face a future without my mum and that is causing some serious self indulgent moment ie Why me etc etc and bargaining with a higher power that if i do this you make mum all better.

Overall I have nothing to complain about, after all, there are billions so very much worse off and have through horrific things and gone on to thrive and be counted in the grand scheme of things.

Such is life I suppose....

111 k's and counting.........

2009-07-01T02:24:00.000-07:00

Driving the new car is pure bliss, its zippy and responsive and fun to drive! The technology works easily ie CD books play, the MP3 plays the music and it all just works simply without a great deal of faffing about, which is good when one is driving and should have the majority of their attention focused on the road.
Today I collected my hearing aids, well was fitted for them. It was amazing watching them being specifically being tuned to my needs on the PC, the program is so intuitive and was easy to understand to a point. Now with all technology there is a bedding down period and I am to take note of what is working and what isn't and then go back to Barry for a tweak when I need to.

Just feeling a part of the world at large is very liberating, the sounds i am hearing are rich and full and robust - not thin and squeaky. No feedback squeals ever again unless something is seriously wrong. Just figuring out the support technology on offer, you should see the packaging and support gear that came with these two tiny aids, amazing.

Post again soon

Surprising development...you saw it all along....

2009-06-24T19:08:00.000-07:00

Well I have to say these holidays have been an interesting one, buying cars and hearing aids and collecting a boyfriend along the way. Yes, indeed, W & I have taken the first tentative steps in furthering our friendship. Now, being female, the first thing I did was workshop the idea of a relationship with W with my sister and dearest friends, who all agree, the best relationships start off as friends and go from there.

I had just had W as a friend who I cycle with, go out to dinner with and see movies with and hang out with, so we have a good framework to develop with. I guess I had him as a friend and my mind didn't see it coming, but W is a honest and up front sort of fellow and just asked me if I would consider it and so I did and we are seeing how things go.

Early days yet

OMG, I did it...................

2009-06-13T04:03:00.000-07:00

I went and bought a car, signed on the dotted line and everything. Now as I was signing on the dotted lines (there was lots of them and on many pages) my hand was cold and clammy and I looked very pale. My beloved cousin was with me as she is on all major decisions in my life, voluntarily or not. She asked me if I was OK, I just mumbled something and continued signing my life away. This experience is not new to me, anything at all to do with finances, has me plagued with a case of the screaming hab dabs (trust me they are bad). For some reason, finance and my emotions are very closely entwined. When I signed the papers for my house and realised the collosal job I had undertaken I didn't sleep soundly for many weeks and had repeating nightmares about sheriffs evicting me for non-repayment of loans and bills.
Why this is the case I have no idea, I have never not paid a bill, overlooked payment (due to messy office), but not deliberately been unable to pay it. I have never missed a mortgage payment or any other kind of big payment.
However, when it comes time to sign on the dotted line for any kind of financial agreement, I am clammy, cold, shaky and feel ready to hurl. I have a mate who has been very successful in her life through her own hard work and savvy and I was talking to her about all matters financial and she said she had no emotional reaction to anything financial, it's just another transaction.
So signing up for the car today I was rather amazed at my reaction, I had hoped having purchased a house (being usually the biggest financial transaction in your life) I would be over this visceral reaction to financial transactions. I have no trouble meeting my debts and paying them but this reaction is consistent.
In any case, pending finance approval, I will be the proud owner of a new shiny red i30 Hyundai vehicle, I stayed with Hyundai as I have had a dream run with my current car and only due to its advancing age that I have been pushed into doing this new transaction, well, truth be told, it was the hearing aids that cracked it.

I have been deeply unhappy for a long time with the quality of hearing I was actually achieving with my hearing aids, so having time to think and mull over things during the course of my holidays I came to the conclusion that I needed new ones as the impact on my life is pretty severe. I have actually turned up at work and been there for a few hours and not realised I have not turned them on because I haven't noticed the difference in sound input/output.
I am more excited about the hearing aids then the car, in actual fact, because of the overall impact it will have.
I will be able to participate in workroom conversation and hear people talking in a dinner party situation. I will not be saying "i beg your pardon" "sorry I didn't hear that" or just missing out overall.
So I shall return to work a new woman in possesion of new spectacles and new hearing aids and perhaps driving a new car but decidedly a poorer woman!

The countdown begins.....

2009-05-20T17:20:00.000-07:00

for my holidays to start. As is my usual wont I am taking a large chunk of time off as I feel holidays should be long and lengthy to really decompress and relax and be ready to hit the ground running for when you return to your normal daily grind.

I will be spending lots of time with my mum naturally, who lives up the coast and I hope the weather will not be cyclonic as it was last time and I can out and about on Goldie (my bike) and go for long walks with Bonny (the dog) and keep my fitness levels up which are sadlly declining in reality. My efforts at Karate and keeping my fitness have been sporadic at best and appalling at worst. I will also have a peruse on Wotif and see if there is a bargain to be snaffled for a few days in a hotel to spoil myself.

I will be doing lots of reading, relaxing, sitting on the beach (I prefer beaches in winter) and just smelling the roses. I usually do some big household jobs on holidays like turning out the pantry and clearing out the garage.

The time will pass altogether too quickly as holidays do but I shall feel refreshed and happy to return to work. Also I have the PINK concert to look forward to whilst on holidays, I have not been to a concert for many many years and am surprisingly excited about attending this one.

Downsizing, minimizing and offloading

2009-05-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

What a liberating feeling it is to get rid of stuff that you don't use and can be used elsewhere by other good people.
After deliberating long and hard I have ordered a new lounge suite to be delivered in a few months, in no rush, as it allows me time to get rid of the other sofa, which as it happens has happened rather sooner than expected but no problem, there are chairs to sit on. The most put out in the household over the lack of a lounge will be the animals as they are the usual occupants.

The best thing that has happened over the weekend is the installation of my set top box which has been sitting patiently on top of the TV awaiting installation for almost two years. I kid you not, it makes me laugh as I am considered rather technically minded and savvy with electronics at work but am completely defeated at home by something as relatively simple as installing a set top box. The reception on the TV has gone from very ordinary to absolutely pristine and crystal clear, my flatmate was convinced I had lashed out and bought a new TV.

This imminent installation then created a mess with me trying to figure out what cords belonged to what equipment ie DVD, Set top Box, TV etc, so with a ruthlessness unusual to Cancerians I got rid of the speakers and the stereo underneath that hasn't seen the light of day for years and gave them to my cousin who will give them new life on their deck/verandah. A side note to the mess of cords, I have now labelled the switches indicating which is plugged into each socket. Is that bordering on being too anal?

Another cousin is taking possession of a TV I won earlier this year and was sitting in my bedroom. Now I have never approved of TV's in bedrooms, I believe it to be unhealthy and a distraction especially for couples. I feel so much happier now that it is out of my bedroom and going to someone who will actually use it. I think I had switched it on a total of maybe 3 times.

Back to the sofa, a conversation with a workmate on Sunday has me rid of my sofa this week which will necessitate a few weeks sitting on office chairs when watching TV, which is not a big deal because neither myself or my flatmate are big TV addicts. We may watch a collective total of about 4 hours TV a week.

I was mooching around IKEA this morning after donating plasma, probably not a good idea because I felt a bit light headed but I have my eye on some nice furniture to freshen up the lounge room and finally have it how I really want it. I prefer the minimalist look, uncluttered and clean, though I do bemoan the lack of shelving and display space for a few photos and a couple of treasured knick knacks.

That's the problem with one new piece of furniture it creates a desire to carry on and get new stuff all over but I believe I am being restrained in my desire, it is strictly a coffee table I want and a TV cabinet/sideboard I need and then I will be done.

I have become very conscious of my "want versus need" drive, which is why I have off loaded unneeded possessions lately. I sold my electric bike and the lady is having a delightful time riding it around and about her place. I have given away my sofa and old stereo/speakers and the TV to people who will give them a new life and use them well. All things I don't need.

I feel weighed down when I have a lot of stuff and it creates a drive for more stuff, at least in me it does. I feel liberated when I give stuff away and lighter in heart and spirit when I am minimising my possessions.

Miss K, thank you for my award, however I had "login failed" each time despite a number of attempts so I have posted it to my Facebook account.

Cheers for now

An innate talent I would love to have.....

2009-04-19T03:18:00.000-07:00

would be one of the following three abilities

1. I would love to be able to sing, just open my mouth and stun the audience with my beautiful singing voice just as Susan Boyle has done on Britain's Got Talent. I just watched the episode via Youtube and it was beautiful. I have been listening to a lot of music of late as it soothes my soul - in particular Anne Murray and Eva Cassidy. These are ladies with magic talent, truly blessed with a beautiful voice.

2. I have always wished to draw, be able to reproduce something that I looked at via an artististic medium, in particular, charcoal. I think this has something to do with the serial - Young and the Restless - for many years, the opening sequences showed the characters of the serial rendered in charcoal and I always envied the artist responsible their talent. Pen and ink is also another preferred medium. I have long yearned for a tasteful nude rendered in pen & ink or charcoal - a nude laying sideways away from the viewer, so you see the long line of the back flowing through the buttocks and legs. One day I will have that artwork framed and mounted on my bedroom wall.

3. I have always wanted to sew, just be able to whip up an outfit or lingerie or something for the house without a second thought. I have long admired friends who have shown me stunning quilts, or gorgeous knits or outfits they have created and I have been pea green with envy.

Now I am well aware that all of the above are learned skills with only a modicum of talent needed to be able to produce something of note. With the exception of singing I have tried to learn how to sew but to no avail and though I can crochet a basic stitch and make rugs of which I have made many, knitting currently escapes me. My drawing skills make me a very lousy pictionary partner, you want to lose at pictionary, well I am your gal.

I will drag out the crochet projects that have been languishing since last winter shortly now that the weather is getting cooler, as I feel guilty watching TV/DVD's unless I am also doing a puzzle or crochet at the same time.

I also yearn for gardening talent, it was rather alarming, when I first moved into my beloved abode. that friends and family lavished gorgeous plants upon me as house warming gifts. I always felt the compulsion to apologise to the plant in question for the lousy home it had been bequeathed to. One and all eventually curled up their leaves and died on me. Not through lack of any kind just don't have the knack for nurturing plants. My beloved cousin Shanon has the green thumb in abundance, so to feel less like a brownie (someone who doesn't have a green thumb) I bequeathed all remaining languishing plants to her and they have thrived and bloomed under her tender auspices. My garden lives on the Darwin promise - only the strong shall survive and unfortunately it looks just like that. I need a Jamie Durie to come and Jamie Durie my back yard, or Graham Ross from Better Homes and Garden - not fussy - just someone with ideas and panache to tell me what I need.

So if you have a talent for the above you are cordially invited to do something in my backyard!

Cheers for now

Routine is good....

2009-04-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

I am back from the coast for the moment! Settled happily back into work and beavering away happily at the usual stuff I do.

The big news for me to process is that Mum's cancer is classed now as TERMINAL - which brings to mind, buses, trains and planes, just the connection my brain makes. I wish her cancer would board said bus, train and plane and go far far far away. It is not a shock to me, in my mind I knew this to be probable but in my heart, the news broke it in to two pieces. However having said this Mum is in reasonable good health and spiritis. My brother and grandad are visiting at present and keeping her company. My brother went home yesterday and grandad will depart after Easter some time.

I am just biding my time for when I am needed, I have leave planned for June.

On brighter notes, I went for a great ride yesterday through the delights of Manly and successfully dragged my flatmate Peter along after threatening to charge his bike rent for taking up space in my garage unless he started to ride it. Peter and other friends all enjoyed themselves and being out in the fresh air does wonders for the bruised spirit and tired mind.

Karate has inadvertently taken a backseat but I will refocus on it at a later date, in the meantime, take classes where and when feasible. I've also withdrawn from study at present, I was kidding myself, thinking I could manage with everything else going on. So my life's plan has taken a slight detour and the timeframe for all my big goals has lengthened somewhat but never mind I will get there in the end.

Always a happier day today ....

Who knew doing so little could be so tiring.....

2009-03-19T20:50:00.001-07:00

It has been a while folks, since I last popped a post on my blog but I have been a little busy of late and lacking the discipline to post.

I have been up the coast these last few weeks spending time with mum and giving George her partner and my sister a break from the endless and I do mean endless ferrying to and fro from appointments with assorted medical professionals. Having cancer is quite seriously a full time job, it takes over your whole life and the lives of those close to you who bear the brunt of the fetching and carrying and ferrying about so that you can concentrate on getting through the assorted appointment and getting well.

I have enjoyed being up the coast and being able to be useful, as I have mentioned before I am not much for brow soothing and patting of hands. Give me a mop and broom and I can clean for you, I can cook and I can drive you all around the place wherever you need to be. It has given me quality of time with Mum while driving and sitting in endless waiting rooms to chat about all the ephemeral things.

But doing nothing is hard work, I feel more tired now than after working full time, doing 3 sessions of karate training and a good long cycle. Not just mentally tired but physically tired too. Bizarre but true.

I have been blessed with a great deal of support both overt and subtle, and both gratefully accepted and deeply appreciated. Work has been great with offering leave for as long as needed but still making me feel wanted, friends have been fabulous in offering relief outlets for stress and overloaded emotions. Family have been wonderful in being there and keeping themselves available for assistance when and where needed.

I have always been a simple girl and enjoyed the simple things in life and this whole experience of Mum dealing with cancer has truly stripped away any artifice about what is truly important. Your health, your family and your happiness, everything else is of distant secondary importance.

I am continuing with my studies and the first two assignment due dates are rapidly approaching so I will be doing some serious work this weekend back at my place to get a good grasp on it. I am aiming for a pass don't care for much else.

I will try not to let too much time pass before I post again

Cheers for now

and what a week it's been...

2009-02-26T22:55:00.000-08:00

I have been remiss in posting on my blog of late. But not for lack of trying just lack of inspiration or perhaps lack of clarity.

The first week of study has just passed in a blur of reading, endless reading and not the sort I enjoy - this is the stuff I have to remember so much re-reading is happening to try and cement the theories and thoughts of learned people.

This week at work was also a very intense one, we had a very successful Author talk with some 300 people attending, which takes some serious organising and arranging to go so flawlessly. The entire team performed brilliantly and really rose to the occasion and as a consequence we are all comprehensively knackered!

I have just joined up with Twitter so that I can keep up my understanding of social networking and it's real life applications. My study groups are all online and we are required to post our thoughts on the week's reading online for all to discuss and mull over. So I am currently to be found on Facebook, Twitter, Groupwise, Ning, Tagged, and MSN. By golly, there is no hiding anywhere at all!

I love the potential of weekend as yet untraversed they seem so full of potential and roads to be travelled but in reality they are filled with domestic drudge that you haven't got to during the week. My weekend will begin with karate training and end with a good bicyle ride with assorted mates!

Do what has to be done, when it has to be done, to the best of your ability, all of the time - Life's simple really when you follow this adage!

Cheerio

So it begins....

2009-02-11T03:06:00.000-08:00

My knuckle down time is nigh! The study routine that seemed so far off in the new year is now upon me. I logged onto the Uni site and checked out various aspects of student services and finally figured out what was what, just after I sent off an email asking a fairly dopey question that I found the answer shortly after.

It will be interesting studying online as I am a tactile person like to have papers and books to touch while reading and absorbing information sitting in front of a PC reading material for study purposes has a slight unreality to it for me and I am concerned that I won't absorb information effectively in this manner. But there is a text book and I will buy it at a cool $93 thank you very much.

The topics are interesting and directly related to my daily work but the trick for me will be expressing my knowledge in a clear and effective manner suited to University standard.

Until we meet again...

My mother always told me..............

2009-02-07T02:26:00.000-08:00

never write anything down that you don't want held against you! So I never wrote a diary or put my thoughts down on paper ever, except in a moment of teenage angst i wrote some abysmal poetry about a boy i liked who didn't return the favour and hid it carefully! Not carefully enough for my brother found it! He didn't torment me about it but mentioned it years later that he had found and read it and i was still embarrassed by that!

Now I am writing reasonably regularly on this blog and I have found I like expressing myself on this blog about things that are topical in my life but sadly some topics i have blogged about have upset people i am close to and they have expressed this anger to me so i have done as they asked and removed the link to the blog from my social networking page. But as a friend of mine says if they don't like it, then don't read it!

I feel that expressing my feelings about various things bubbling away in my life help me manage how i feel about it and stop it becoming bigger than it needs to be. I have felt a bit circumspect since my last post upset people. But, at the end of the day, i was blogging about my feeling's, i was posting about no one else's. Some days it feels like you are clinging with your fingertips on the edge of 1000 ft mountain and not much is helping you to hang on. This blog helps me keep a level head and perspective on things.

Anyway on to a more fun note, I have just spent the last couple of hours dancing around my living with my 12 year old neighbour to the Saturday night party mix and she knows the words to more songs of my vintage i might add than i do. Oh the shame!!

In addition we did some poetry on my magnetic board with my magnetic words, and it was interesting what turned out to be the end result. All in all a fun night

After my rant............

2009-02-02T01:08:00.000-08:00

Thank you for the compassion! I had just heard that Mum had nodules found on her kidneys and prognosis was grim! It was an instinctive reaction that I needed to unleash and this blog is handy for those times where I just gotta say stuff....

So mum has the cancer spots on her lungs (the original sites) and a spot on her leg that the specialists don't seem altogether to bothered with and now this on her kidneys. It seems she is stuffed six ways to sunday! I galloped up there on Saturday to spend time with her and get a clearer picture of the situation.

We had the "talk", the one you have about funerals, personal preferences and locations etc etc etc and it was difficult, I went into professional "librarian" mode and asked the questions and got the answers and it was reasonably sorted. I am the executor of mum's estate, such as it is, and I need to know stuff for when the time comes. I found it relatively easy but I know that I am on auto pilot at present when it comes to my feelings about this and suspect when it is over and dust is settled, I will comprehensively fall apart.

I am great leading into and during a crisis - but not so good afterwards, so time will tell how it will all pan out.

I am lucky that work is a great distraction and i have my upcoming study to keep me busy and training to keep me focused and fit and mentally conditioned to cope. I will just have to take things as they come and deal with them as they arise. I have family whose sole purpose is to trouble trouble before trouble troubles them. But I prefer not to "trouble trouble until trouble troubles me"

Until next time..................

Just a statement.............

2009-01-30T05:16:00.000-08:00

Let me just say this................

CANCER IS COMPLETELY AND WHOLLY A FUCKING BITCH OF A DISEASE!

Feeling virtous.....such a ephemeral feeling...

2009-01-29T02:06:00.000-08:00

I have re-focused for the year to optimise the benefit of training as much as possible at Karate! So far so good! It's week 3 and I have been 8 times so far, so averaging 3 sessions a week, of course, if I really had the intestinal fortitude I wanted, I could go in the morning and on the Saturday that I don't work adding an additional 3 sessions to my week but I lack that intestinal fortitude and it would turn into something like very hard work!

So my goal is 3 sessions a week where at all possible!

I am feeling the benefits already, feeling even stronger and more grounded, if that doesn't sound too wanky! So hopefully I am able to maintain my momentum.

I am feeling excited and challenged by work, I love where I work and know that I am blessed to have a workplace such as mine. I can be myself and reasonably understood and feel relaxed. I know the boundaries and where the line is, so I can be my usual cheeky/somewhat mouthy self and know that it's ok.

I had an interesting experience, we had a vacancy to fill and I was selected to be on the interview panel, a first for me, normally I am on the hot seat, groping for wonderful answers to interview questions. I thought it almost as hard to be on the other side as to be the one being interviewed. It didn't help that the candidates were both terrific and an almost equal match for one another. But a choice was made with my colleague with some consultation from our trusty TL and candidates advised. All is well and i feel i have learned yet another thing about myself in this experience, that yes I can perform under pressure and trust my instincts as well.

There are changes afoot at work and I believe I thrive in change and being put under the hammer and am at my best when pressured! So hopefully I will produce some of my best "work" in these up coming conditions without doing my nut.

Ciao for now....

Blah...

2009-01-23T01:55:00.000-08:00

Not a lot to say at the moment, feeling a bit off kilter. Things are a little unsettled, Mum had a Dr's appt today, no new news, just more of the same, no more chemo for the moment but perhaps radium treatment for spot on her leg but more wait and see for her, scans booked for next week and so it goes. Mum is struggling with things at the moment and there is little anyone can do for her other than offer support which seems paltry. Her main issue is fatigue and lack of energy to do the most basic things and this is making things difficult and my sister is copping a fair bit of the flak unfortunately due to proximity more than anything. So its a rough road for all at present which seems rude of me to say as I am 1 1/2 hrs down the road away from it all. This cancer business is a bitch for all concerned and not just the person who actually has the damn thing, it's effects are rippling and far reaching.
I will have to think of some things to help, my aunt phoned this morning and offered to assist with payment for a cleaner to help mum with the big jobs around the house, you know the ones, bathroom and mopping floors etc. I think this is a practical solution and will have to suss it out and see if it will help.

In any case it's a working weekend for me, so i won't be able to nip up for a visit and suss out the lay of the land, i think i will do that next weekend.

Ciao for now

Bin 'dere Dun 'dat

2009-01-19T02:38:00.000-08:00

Now where was I, let me think ...................

Oh yes..

I've been busy of late, had a day trip to Sydney, now those who know me know I have not done that much travelling, little bits here and there but to do a day trip to another state was an absolute hoot. Just wander onto the plane and wander off and not be bothered with the baggage bit, it was great. Myself and L who sprang for the trip as a thank you for deeds done some time ago had a great time. We headed to the Lindt cafe at Martin place where we sampled a degustation plate that defeated the both of us annointed chocoholics - a doggy box was sought and given! Apparently this particular Lindt cafe was the first of its kind in the world no less as L was wont to tell me, a true Lindt afficianado or connoisseur!

Then it was time to meet my brother Steven and his girl Pam for lunch, after all the sweetness I was after some savoury food, and Wogamamas was decided upon as there was a treat to be had with soy beans sauteed in garlic & chilli and just plain salted! Sound weird I know but bloody tasty so we cleaned them up in no time and then had a usual meal, I ordered vegetarian something or other as I knew I wouldn't eat a whole something and my brother is a vegetarian so he could be the chook bucket for me.
Chook bucket is the affectionate term used in the family and given to the person at the table who will clean up your scraps much like a chook does.

A quick forage up the Centrepoint tower and having the highlights pointed out to us and it was time to mosey on back to the airport for our trip home. It was a terrific day in all.
Parking was a breeze when I used this mob www.bap.com.au to park my car at a very reasonable $18 for the day, and totally secure facility

Sunday was a lie in and then preparing for a ride around Cleveland with my mate Wayne, I managed to keep my end up and go for a burl right out the lighthouse and back - and I have found the restaurant I want to have a meal at for my next birthday! So be warned readers that's where I will celebrate my next birthday!

Back at work today and hit the ground running, organising computer relocations, stirring the boss and aggravating the customers to my satisfaction meant a good day was had by me!

Au revoir until next time

Once again I borrow from Kath

2009-01-07T03:32:00.000-08:00

The top 10 things and 10 bottom things about 2008 and I also will start with the bad and finish on a good note:-

Bad things

1. My darling mum being diagnosed with cancer - huge big and scary thing we are all still dealing with
2. My Nan having a nasty fall and breaking her hip necessitating much care from all of us and realising that she will never be the same again and it has aged her considerably
3. Workmates being mucked about .................................
4. Realising that some situations ain't never gonna change and it is time to close the door and move on

Wow I don't have 10 bad things I can say so that is a good thing right

Truly that is all that I can say that was bad about the year - but the first two were I have to say FUCKING HUGE and truly knocked me arse over kettle

Good things

1. Started cycling with a good and serious intent and met my good mate Wayne who has been nothing but supportive in getting me to my goal of cycling well and long and coping with hills
2. Work, I am blessed to work in a great branch with great people and enjoy going to work everyday where I get to be with my raison d'etre - BOOKS
3. I have continued to progress steadily with my Karate training and continue to realise benefits unforeseen when I first started
4. I continued to nibble steadily at my mortgage and can see some tangible difference infinitesimally small but discernable nonetheless
5. I have my 3 furballs who give me joy and humour every day and just are happy to be wherever i am
6. I have my inner strength and determination that will see me through everything and anything this life will throw at me and I will come out on top - This has been confirmed with me this last year
7. I have great family members and beloved friends who are supportive in all manner of ways and ideas
8. I bought new toys like a MP3 player to listen to even more books and I am having fun with that and a Garmin Nuvi Satellite Navigation system that works a treat and makes sure I never ever get lost again - it's bloody unreal
9. I am making positive moves for my career and I have a very supportive boss who encourages me every step of the way, how lucky am I
10. I learned 23 things which was a hoot
and a bonus one
11 I got a great flatmate - yep I fluked the scary lottery of housemates and got a great one Pete - he is considerate, good company, great with my furballs and genuinely likes and plays with them and pays his rent and share of bills without complaint and is pretty good company to boot

So all in all - with sunshine comes rain, with sadness comes happiness, with low funds comes high funds, so everything balances itself out

I am a happy, blessed and lucky gal really

Thanks Kath for the inspiration...

2009-01-01T17:42:00.000-08:00

I have been pondering upon my next post and reading one my regular blogs, http://thesleepydumpling.blogspot.com/, I have cottoned onto it! After all why reinvent the wheel

This is a bit of a blog meme doing the rounds. I don't in any way think that you should HAVE to do anything, but these are things you could pick from to enrich your life. You could make your own hundred things you want to do or have done (or both) that is important to you. I may add a few more to the bottom:
1. Started my own blog- one as required to for work and I have run with it big time!
2. Slept under the stars- under duress when required to
3. Played in a band- Nope, but played the piano as child/teenager and want to go back to it one day
4. Visited Hawaii- not a top 10 destination for me but wouldn't sneeze at it if someone shouted me a trip there
5. Watched a meteor shower- Yes I think I have,not terribly gifted as an astronomer
6. Given more than I can afford to charity- No have always had much than those who need the charity so can't really say that i have given more than i could afford
.7. Been to Disneyland/World- No - see answer 4 for more detail
8. Climbed a mountain- Does Mt Timbeerah count? Otherwise no they were just big hills that felt like freakin' mountains
9. Held a praying mantis- Nope not in this lifetime
10. Sung a solo - Yes - Singstar has a lot to answer for
11. Bungee jumped - Not in this lifetime
12. Visited Paris- One day
13. Watched lightning at sea- Yes many many times been a bit too close to the show
.14. Taught myself an art from scratch - Nope not yet
15. Adopted a child- No but have been sponsoring a child for many years
16. Had food poisoning- Yes, usually due to my own cooking efforts which is horrid and really bad when both ends are exploding.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty- Not yet
18. Grown my own vegetables- Nope brown thumb but want to one day
19. Seen the Mona Lisa- Not yet
20. Slept on an overnight train- Yep usually on our yearly trip to Sydney as my mum refused to fly and her family were located there
21. Had a pillow fight- Yep and usually one
22. Hitchhiked- Nope, too much of a sook and my dad would have throttled me to take a chance like that
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - It's called a mental health day
24. Built a snow fort- Yes when I went on a skiing trip in my senior year, couldn't ski so built a snow fort instead
25. Held a lamb- yes and many other baby animals - calves, foals, puppies, kittens, chickens,
26. Gone skinny dipping- Yes and loved it surprisingly
27. Run a Marathon- Not in this lifetime
.28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice- Not yet
29. Seen a total eclipse- Yes indeed
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset- yes many times and never ceased to be stunned by its beauty
31. Hit a home run - Not yet
32. Been on a cruise- Nope - movie Titanic has a lot to answer for
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person- Not Yet
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors- Not Yet
35. Visited an Amish community- Not Yet
36. Taught myself a new language- Does fluent swearing in Italian count otherwise NO.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied-I have always had enough if only by the skin of my teeth
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person- Not Yet
39. Gone rock climbing- Does indoor rock climbing count? Otherwise No
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David- Not Yet
41. Sung karaoke- A few times, my lord do I sound bad but always fun especially when snookered
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt- Not Yet
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant- Not Yet
44. Visited Africa- Not Yet
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight- Yes many times
46. Been transported in an ambulance- Not yet, but probably only a matter of time
47. Had my portrait painted- Not Yet but would like be done in charcoal if anyone cares to do one of me
48. Gone deep sea fishing- Not myself personally actually fishing but been on the boat with others doing it
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person- Not Yet
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris- Not Yet
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling- Not in this lifetime
52. Kissed in the rain- Not Yet but on the list of things to do
53. Played in the mud- Yes many times
54. Gone to a drive-in theater- Yes
55. Been in a movie- Nope unless home movies count
56. Visited the Great Wall of China- Not Yet
57. Started a business- Nope
58. Taken a martial arts class- Yep and 1/2 way to black belt
59. Visited Russia- Not Yet
60. Served at a soup kitchen- Not yet
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies- Nope, but was a brownie and sold their biscuits.
62. Went Whale Watching- yep
63. Got flowers for no reason- Not yet, unless I have bought myself a bunch but a gorgeous bunch of red roses on my 19th birthday from the girls I worked with, brought me to tears
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma- Yep many times thanks to an old work mate Fiona Robertson-Cuninghame
65. Gone sky diving- Not in this lifetime
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp- Not Yet
67. Bounced a check- Not yet but bound to happen one day
68. Flown in a helicopter- Not Yet
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy- No but favourite books yes
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial- Not Yet
71. Eaten caviar- Nope
72. Pieced a quilt- Nope but one day I will learn to sew proper like
73. Stood in Times Square- Not Yet
74. Toured the Everglades- Not Yet
75. Been fired from a job- Not as yet
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London- Not Yet
77. Broken a bone- left arm being dragged off a horse
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle- yep
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person- Not Yet
80. Published a book- Nope
81. Visited the Vatican- Not Yet
82. Bought a brand-new car- New to me, but classed as 2nd hand by dealer
83. Walked in Jerusalem- Not Yet
84. Had my picture in the newspaper- Yes, a couple of times.
85. Read the entire Bible- yep
86. Visited the White House- Not Yet
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating- Not personally but been there while it happened
88. Had chickenpox- yes
89. Saved someone’s life- couple of times
90. Sat on a jury- Yes a murder trial very gruelling and not something I care to repeat.
91. Met someone famous- yes, assorted people
92. Joined a book club- Nope
93. Lost a loved one- Yes
94. Had a baby- Made a choice at 15 that I would not be a mum
95. Seen the Alamo in person- Not Yet
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake- Not Yet
97. Been involved in a law suit- Nope
98. Owned a cell phone- a fair few but was late in life getting one compared to friends
99. Been stung by a bee- Yep but being stung on the face by wasps was way way way more painful
100. Ridden an elephant- Not Yet
So there's my replies to the list someone else created. Here's a few others I have done and think would be great experiences others could do if they haven't already:
Again Kath reminded me of similar things undertaken by me
1. Done something way out of my comfort zone - Yes turned up at a dancing class by myself and made myself go again and again until I made friends - something I did for six years, great time of my life. Then decided to do it all again by undertaking martial arts training
2. Read a book in a single seating - Yes many times often through the night
3. Spouted liquid via nose or mouth when someone has made you laugh - - Yes a few times especially at the kitchen at Chermside Library with my workmates - Adrian Kunde was a devil for making me laugh just when I sipped my coffee, he often wore it as a result - It was quite the party trick for me as a small child too until I had my cleft palate repaired!
4. Had my first white Christmas when I was in the states for 2004 Christmas and it started snowing on Christmas Eve - it was very special

and it passes......

2008-12-26T01:34:00.000-08:00

into the annals of history, yes another family Christmas! It went well and no tears or blood was shed and people were almost happy.

Dinner at Sizzlers was great, it was truly a marvel to watch Travis eat, a dear boy, but my god this tall slim lad could put a Green Bay linebacker to shame when it comes to food intake. It truly an awe inspiring sight to see the food he could inhale. Let's just say that we as a family got our money's worth solely due to Travis, he may be banned from Sizzler's restaurants nation wide after this last effort.

I was happy with my presents, it is interesting what various family members buy me for Christmas, the aspect of my personality they choose to focus upon! For example, my sister indulged me with a 1/2 kilo of Ferrero Roche chocolates which i am still working my way through. She knew she was onto a sure winner there

I am currently enjoying the break and relaxing at home catching up on my reading and hopefully a cycle or two before being back at work on Sunday

Ciao for now.......

.......And so it begins.........

2008-12-18T04:19:00.000-08:00

the low grade anxiety that starts to pool in the pit of my stomach in the week leading up to Christmas. Will everyone be happy and will she behave, she being my grandmother who I love but sometimes don't like when her behaviour is atrocious and abominable as it was last Christmas. I used to wonder, as a child, why my mother would be so tense and irritable leading up to Christmas though she tried to hide it well. It wasn't until I was an adult woman that my mother filled me in on the conflict that she endured every single year of her married life and onwards. After all I was a clueless cossetted child shielded from all the slings and arrows of life. I think of my childhood as Camelot, it truly was that perfect, I have no memory of sadness or tension or anything until my early teens. My god, was I oblivious or what.

Now as Christmas approaches I begin to tense up and gird my loins to endure the day as best I can. Due to my insistence on having dinner out in an air conditioned restaurant we are going out to Sizzlers on the day itself for lunch, hopefully that will encourage good behaviour and manners from all.

I am expecting some fireworks from family members due to the presents I purchased for assorted family members, now most of them will accept these gifts in the vein of humour and community spirit with which it is intended but some are gonna blow up big time. I have bought presents for all family under the age of 10 but the older ones get the community spirited gifts. I have purchased assorted farm animals, their products and tools from Oxfam in order to assist needy communities to become self sufficient. I am delivering these cards explaining these gifts this weekend so I will know by Monday if I have been expunged from my immediate family or not.

Fingers crossed for me.

A friend of mine put the idea in my head, if you are an adult, you buy the stuff you want for yourself when you want it. People give you stuff they think you want or need but let's face it 8 of 10 times, it's nice but not what you really want or need unless you have clearly specified a specific desire for a specific item. This particular friend of mine is quite outspoken about not wanting gifts for birthdays or Christmas and I am happy to oblige. Except for her 40th birthday last year I bought her 40 scratchies, her birthday is in November, she was scratching scratchies for 40 days until almost January of the next year
and it amused her no end and gave me a giggle or two when i would received the odd text crowing about her winning a few dollars on that particular scratchie.

Talk about the gift that gives!

To all my blog readers, I do wish a lovely festive season celebrated however you wish to and that the upcoming year is full of all the things you wish to accomplish, see and do

Take care and Felice Navidad

Kerri

The beginning or the end.....

2008-12-14T01:03:00.000-08:00

of the week! Being Sunday, I never know when this is my week endeth or its beginning. It's been a lovely weekend. On Saturday I met Alexander James Finch, a lovely little lad of some 3.5 weeks age, the new born son of dear friends Kate and Joel. I was the first person outside immediate family told of his impending arrival simply because Kate was bursting to tell and we had lunch that particular day and she knew that I could keep a secret. I love hearing secrets like that, they are wonderful. I may have chosen to not have children myself but I celebrate and adore newborn children of family and friends, they are wonderful gifts to the world. I cuddled Alex and he obligingly slept happily for the whole time whilst in my arms and its a lovely weight to bear and you do the mummy rock automatically and pat their bottom rhythmically, it is automatic for me despite not having born children of my own.

I worked at Chermside with some of my old crew from when I worked there and other staff from 'round the ridges. It's always a good day and I enjoyed myself!

Tomorrow is another day off and I hope to go for a bike ride somewhere if it is not too hot! Of course always the housework to catch up on but that I will do - might make tomorrow night - clean sheet night depends if the weather cooperates

The books I have been reading have been the Stephenie Meyers "Twilight" series, and surprise to me I have thoroughly enjoyed them, they are a terrific read. I can understand why they are so hugely popular, they have romance, action, appealing characters and terrific scenery described, all very atmospheric!
Will start the last one tomorrow and it will be all done until she writes another!

Adieu for now........

Odds 'n Sods

2008-12-08T01:49:00.000-08:00

Saw the movie "Australia" the previous Sunday, normally when a movie is hyped to the extent that Australia is, it means that I automatically don't want to see it! Hyper promotion has the reverse effect intended with me, you want me to see that movie that much, fine I won't!
But persuaded by my mate Wayne, I consented to watch it with him, I was most pleasantly surprised I thoroughly enjoyed it! I laughed, got teary, gasped with the audience at various parts. Its a rollicking good flick and definitely worth the numb bum of 3 hours seating.

I bought an iron on Sunday, jesus, who'd have thought there was so much choice and they all do the same freakin' thing, iron clothes and they all required you there to do that. The choice was wide and prices varied crazily, so as usual, I went middle of the road and bought a Russell Hobbs job, which has a light show indicating the temperature of the iron, about 4 pretty colours in all.

Dixie and I had a lovely time with Jo, Roy, Scruff and Casper out at their new abode in Burpengary. Jo and I went out for coffee and I returned some $250 poorer after clothes shopping. Jo is a woman of style and taste and is honest with her opinion and that's great when you are dithering over clothes as I do and she has a good eye and shoved me in the cubicle with an assortment of things, most of which I purchased. Well my summer wardrobe is sadly depleted as most garments are looking shabby and past it, and I have a few garments that will mix and match so extending their usefulness. Another couple of skirts and another pair of sandals and I am good to go for all occasions.

Spent the day doing housework which leaves me with a good sense of achievement because it's noticeable for a time anyway. Then I shopped for the those things you run out of after a few months like loo paper, toilet cleaner and detergent. I buy large packets of loo paper, I have three toilets in my little townhouse and I usually buy 24 roll packs x 3 for each of them and it lasts ages. But now with Pete living in the house he can look after his own loo!! (Pete is my flatmate)

I am a fan of Febreze, with animals in the house and all this rain, things can get a bit whiffy, but a squirt of Febreze sorts it out and leaves it with a pleasant scent until I get the couch cover washed for another time.

I am at Mitchelton Library for four weeks I started last Saturday, it was a lovely introduction, I had forgotten what a pain interfiling and then retrieving CD's & DVD's is but a small price to pay. It's a lovely library in a lovely location, the staff are terrific and the customers seem to really love their library. I know all the staff and feel happy and relaxed to be there for the duration.

Until next time

Oh my lordy lordy.... where did the time go!

2008-12-01T17:23:00.001-08:00

It's the 2nd of December and I feel dizzy and somwhat a little fatigued when I think about all the things on my to-do list before the end of the year descends upon us.

I am in my last week at Carindale before sticking on my acting TL hat at Mitchelton for a month from this coming Saturday. I am really looking forward to this stint as a learning curve and opportunity to develop my Team Leader skills. I have been to Mitchelton today to have the "handover" as such and I start on Saturday, yep it means two Saturdays in a row but I will be rewarded as I will be visiting my dear friends after work Jo & Roy who have their beloved furballs Scruff and Casper who both get along with Dixie and I love having Dixie along too and she gets spoiled rotten there and indulged in all sorts of treats. Jo & Roy have moved to their new place and I have yet to visit them in their new abode, hence the locked in visit this weekend. It takes some doing to get a free weekend where we are both available.

In fact all my weekends are booked up until January now with work and other obligations. Karate training ceases next Thursday for a holiday hiatus, one richly deserved for all the staff at AAMA who work tirelessly to bring the best in our training every week and coax us along when we are staggering about.

Mum has her doctors appointment tomorrow to hear how the radium worked or didn't work so a little anxious about that. So fingers crossed a positive upbeat result is on the cards!

Until next time.....

Still thinking...........but now posting

2008-11-25T16:26:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot over the last couple of days on what is coming up for me next year. I will be one very busy little bee and will have to be organised and up to speed with everything, otherwise the whole house of cards that represents my life will collapse.

As mentioned earlier in this blog I have enrolled to complete my library qualifications so I can be a librarian on paper as well as in real life! That is expected to take two years and is only part time so the load shouldn't be too onerous.

Another phase of my life is with Karate, I am currently studying and training toward being a black belt in my style of Martial Arts, and am approximately at the 1/2 way mark. Naturally it's getting harder as I progress up the scale and proving to be more challenging. We started sparring last night with gloves and mouthgards - we had previously been doing Tan Gan Ho - which is a modified form of sparring where the top of the head is gently tapped to signify a contact.

Last night we were instructed in kumite sparring, which is the real thing, still very strictly non contact ie you hit the ghi not the person (pulling your punch demonstrating your control) definitely no contact hitting to the face. But of course, yours truly, ducked her head in the wrong direction and got fairly smacked in the left eye, just a little puffiness around the eye the next morning to show for it (I don't bruise very easily). But very mortifying for myself and my partner who hit me, as it is deeply frowned upon to seriously hit your partner.

However I doubt it will be the last time I get whopped in sparring, for when I was dancing, whenever we were learning new techniques, out of the whole class, I was the one reliably guaranteed to go A over T in the most inelegant way possible every time, but I would just get up and dust myself off and repair my dignity and go on with the class.

I think the sign of a successful person is not in their material wealth but in their determination to get up every single time they get knocked down and keep trying!

Quote for the day

You always pass failure on the way to success.
Mickey Rooney (1920 - )

Thinking...................

2008-11-23T23:11:00.000-08:00

about stuff!

Another week passes..........

2008-11-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

I remember as a child that the year seem to last forever and that Christmas time would never arrive! The year milestones would take forever to arrive, you would have Christmas and then New Year and then you had to wait for Easter and the chocolate! Then my birthday which is in July would inch ever closer, then it too would pass and then it was the Ekka and September holidays and then the oh so slowly approaching Summer Holidays which would include Christmas and all its delights.

Now that I am a grown up of some years now, I feel I would not be surprised if someone told me that we skipped a few months because damn this year has freaking flown past and we are now heading into my least favourite time of the year. I have grown to dislike Christmas because of the family tensions it creates and fosters and bad behaviour of some has ruined it for most. I loathe New Year because it is the only time of year that highlights in BOLD ITALICS that I am a single female in her mid 30's and likely to remain that way until I die alone in my house undiscovered.

Never mind that for 364 days of the year I am happily single and have a rich full life with lots of things to look forward to and be involved in. Just that particular night highlights that little tiny (and it is very miniscule) part of me that goes "Hmm alone again this year!"

So I just grit my teeth and get through the "festive season" and enjoy what parts of it I can and endure the rest and before I know it - it February and then April and then September.

However this New Year I look forward too because 2008 has been a rough year and I am not sorry to say Adieu to it at all. I have much to look forward to in 2009 and am well focused toward that.

I find the quote below to be true one

It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?
Eleanor H. Porter (1868 - 1920), Pollyanna, 1912

Summer Storms...............

2008-11-17T01:58:00.001-08:00

I love 'em! Some of my earliest memories are of my Dad and I watching storms, my mother wasn't so fond of them so would ensconce herself in the middle of the family home and wait it out, but my Dad and I would park ourselves depending on the severity of the storm in the best position to see the storm out and marvel at nature's astonishing power. I find them invigorating and exciting and thrilling.

When it is a stinking hot day that only Brisbane seems to specialise in (I know I am being parochial) you just wait for the storm to come to break the heat and humidity!. You scan the sky and looking for the building thunderhead and watch it develop. My teenage years were spent on a mountain on the Sunshine Coast where we were perched on a hill and could see the storm evolve. The dog would start to freak out about six hours before the storm came and ensconce himself behind the washing machine, the dryer, basically any small dark place where he felt safe. His behaviour indicated a doozy of a storm was on its way. My dad and I would sit out on the tank stand and watch it roll in, calmly ignoring my mother's pleas to come in and what are you "freaking insane" etc etc.

I have one standout memory of being with an assortment of cousins and siblings and on the telstra mountain which is what we called the telstra/energex substation at Black Mountain Road, Cooroy, there was a dry electrical storm and we all got the idea to go up there and watch - the views being of the 360 degrees and utterly phenomenal (without parental permission of course) it was sensational, and to increase the risk factor we got out of the car and sat on the bonnet and roof just to boost the excitement factor. I have never seen fork lightning so spectacular nor so close since - as maturity brings with it commonsense! We all survived and enjoyed the spectacle but I suspect we were lucky!

I lived with my grandmother for quite a long time (13 years in total) and she is terrified of storms, unbeknownst to me for many years,was that she had witnessed a child being struck by lightning so that had scarred and scared her silly for the rest of her life. So I would be sticking my head out the windows and marvelling at nature's efforts and she would be shrieking at me and tugging my arm to rescue me from my foolishness!
I watched yesterday's storm from the balcony of Kedron-Wavell RSL sipping a Cointreau, lime and soda (my favourite tipple) and was restored by the spectacle Mother Nature laid upon us.
Now I know that a man died in the storm and damage was done but that is what happens if you are foolish you take the risk and gamble.

Make sure you are properly insured and all can be replaced and don't take foolish risks without expecting to pay the price. Yes I took a foolish risk being on top of a car in a dry electrical storm but that's the fun of being a teenager and completely risk attracted!

C'est la vie...........

A most satisfying day....

2008-11-12T23:05:00.000-08:00

Well I am delighted to report that I am officially enrolled in a Graduate Diploma via Edith Cowan University. I am terribly nervous at the prospect of starting to study again, the mental discipline it requires of a world class procrastinator is tortuous. However it is only two years part time so it should be quite manageable and I am probably dramatising the impact I am expecting. The goal being that in two years time I will have qualified as a librarian with a real piece of paper to my name and also qualify for my black belt in Karate and all before I turn 40 - how's me!!! (an unfortunate phrase that my dad uses when he is bragging/boasting and i rather like despite the terrible grammar)

On another note, you may recall from previous trantrums, uh, I mean posts that I was experiencing significant difficulty in downloading a book from the net to a portable audio device, well I can report, that I achieved success at last this morning.

All this activity and I managed a phone call to my mum as well so all in all I was quite chuffed with my level of activity this morning.

Quote of the day for me
If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying, "Here comes number seventy-one!"
Richard M. DeVos
and this one too
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933)

Am I a simple person.............

2008-11-10T00:26:00.001-08:00

I think I am, now before you think that I am denigrating myself or my intelligence - I am not! I say I am a simple person because I like the simple things in life, I enjoy simple pursuits, I prefer simple surroundings. I have always thought it wise to only have enough of what you need and a little of what you want. I have a roof over my head, family and friends who truly mean the definition of what family and friends should. I have my pets who offer what I believe is the purest form of love there is, I know people believe that it is only cupboard love but I disagree!
I have a townhouse which suits me, I have no need of large abodes to say something about me. I have a 9 year old car that has never let me down, yet I hesitate to trade her in because of faithful service. I may toy with the idea of getting a shiny new vehicle but I balk each and every time at the thought of trading my lovely car in. I enjoy mostly solitary pursuits but at the heart of it, they are my true enjoyments in life. I get pleasure out of the clean sheet night! I take pride in a clean and tidy house. I enjoy visiting friends and family if only for a short time but I enjoy it nonetheless.
I suppose in short I am saying that my life - while it seems simple to others on the surface and probably very boring. I am, I believe, very wealthy in the things that count. I am truly happy within myself, and I see, that it is very important to be happy within yourself because external factors are very temporary in their solution in providing happiness. I see myself working for a long time simply because I enjoy my job, I love what it is at the core of the job that I do, I am not saying that I don't get down, or irritated and extremely angry but it is fleeting and it passes. I have friends who are afflicted by that terrible disease Depression and I thank my lucky stars that I am not, and I wish that there will be a cure in the near future for this insidious condition.
I take heart that they are my friends and I can help them by offering love and support whenever and wherever they may be.
I am rambling somewhat but I have just been mulling over during the day while doing the housework and mooching around the place, my place in this world and where i am in my life and the conclusion is that I am happy and blessed with all that I have in my life both material, physical and emotional!

Until we meet again..............

23 things are done & dusted

2008-11-08T20:31:00.001-08:00

Happy to report that all 23 things are completed! I will review some of the modules that I skipped through 'cause they didn't really grab me but by and large I know what all the new technologies can do and how to use them. Certainly not fluent don't think I ever will be but I can mooch my way around and figure sh__ 'er I mean stuff out.

Getting paid to play around on this stuff has astounded most of my friends outside of work and consider me a lucky lucky cow to get to this stuff at work. I look forward to really getting a grip on the BCCLS wiki which is starting to make sense and I can really see how it's only gonna grow and become a really useful tool.

Cheers & ciao for now

Pets are mashed..........

2008-11-08T19:35:00.000-08:00

I have sat down today determined to finish off the last couple of modules remaining 23 things!

Have had fun mashing the furkids - it was painless and no animals were endangered I promise

Better get back to it.........

Ok now for the link to my Google Online doc - I can see a variety of possibilities for using it but until everyone is on board with the technology and confident using it I am not sure it ever would get used.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=df93txn3_2cp5xkwc4&hl=en

There's the link, enjoy the view, Ok onto the last module

See you shortly

My three furballs ..............

2008-11-03T00:18:00.000-08:00

From the top down they are Shadow - Maine Coone breed with 3 legs, Dixie - mini fox/chihuahua cross and last but not least Madame Simone - black persian with attitude to spare, she looks totally different today - she has been clipped for the summer so she has a black face, four black socks and her black fluffy tail but the rest of her is a lovely soft gray now. She is still groggy from the anaesthetic and staggering about the place like a little drunk kitty, very funny to watch. I have to get her clipped yearly as she won't let me groom her more than very lightly and a coat like her needs stripping regularly. Due to past trauma (not caused by me) she won't allow too much touching and grooming at all. She is sitting on my lap being very sooky due to still being a little dopey and I am enjoying this as she doesn't normally like this .

Glad you have met my pets.................

Forget the trick, just give me the treat....

2008-10-31T20:50:00.001-07:00

First time for everything, I had 3 little ghouls/ghosts/witches knocking on my door last night to celebrate that most American tradition of Halloween - what a crock - I announced that it would have to be a trick because I didn't have any treats unless you counted Dixie's dried liver treats in the house. So I asked what the trick would be - the little monstrous trio just shrugged and said "Dunno" and wandered off to more fruitful pastures. So there was no tricking to be had, they were only interested in the treating! Lazy little so 'n so's

On another tangent all together, I have been more disciplined of late taking Dixie for walks around the burb, since I now have my portable audio device ladened with books and music and even a video (by accident). I decided to turn right rather than the usual left (which confused Dixie no end and took some tugging to encourage her to come with me). I thought I knew my immediate neighbourhood locale quite well, but I came across a delightful little park being used for a small child's birthday party and a nearby little pond, complete with ducks and gorgeous cute fluffy ducklings. All this was only five streets away, so I am resolved to be more curious about my immediate locale and go wandering around checking things out and seeing what other treasures are presently unbeknownst to me.

My next module is Mashups - I am kind of looking at it but avoiding it at the same time, cause I don't understand it and not sure what it means, yes I know that the purpose of 23 things is to edify me on exactly that but I am kind of put off by the name, it just doesn't grab me, it doesn't tell me what it is or does in the name. But I will discipline myself and knuckle down and do the module shortly and am sure to have a couple of further lightbulb "aha" moments when I do.

Until we meet again...............

Only 3 more to go....

2008-10-30T00:47:00.001-07:00

and I will have completed my share of 23 things! I have learnt much and still have much to learn, I will revisit some earlier modules to get a more complete understanding of what I have learnt. I was training last night and I asked Shihan about a particular stance that is used frequently and said that I was reviewing my "stance" since I was struggling with it. Shihan was rather pleased with me (rare occasion) as he said that it meant I was thinking about what I was doing and improving because of it.

So it is with 23 things, I have skated through some things that haven't gelled with me thus haven't grabbed my attention but then gone back and had several "lightbulb ahaah" moments when two apparently disparate things have connected and given me a better understanding of the whole concept.

The only thing I have not felt good at is when we are asked how may a technology be used by staff in a professional way. I am not a thinker in that respect - generally have NFI (no f_____g/foggy idea) - I prefer to be told this is the way we are going and this is the technology we are using ie the wiki - now that I know about it, and now that I know how to use it (mostly) well I want to use it like that now, so I propose we get cracking and just start using it NOW - holus bolus - both feet in - deep end jump!

But thats me, once i decide to do something, it's in like flynn,slicker than a rat with a shiny gold tooth!

I've figured out why I've come to a screeching....

2008-10-26T21:49:00.000-07:00

halt with 23 things! I am absorbed in reading all the blogs that my talented colleagues have been busily posting! I love reading them and time goes by and before you knowit, your very carefully allocated 23 things time has vanished and real life is a foghorn shrieking for your attention! I got such a buzz when I read library luke's blog and he mentioned a snippet from a posting off my blog. I figure some people are reading it but it is hard to tell so keep the comments going, its a real boon for the old ego!

So I am determined this week to knock over a couple more modules and get moving again with the 23 things learning curve.

I am feeling very relaxed and happy and hopeful about things, I am not sure what has caused this state of being within myself but I am enjoying it immensely. If I could bottle it I would be a billionaress. I talked to my mum on Friday night who was just home from a week's retreat at Heartland with her partner George and sounded happy and relaxed albeit still tired.

I had a great weekend, nothing hugely exciting, other than a delicious lamb roast that my aunt made and invited me over for. I took Dixie for a very long walk and listened to my audio book with delightful happiness. I spent time playing board games, drinking wine and socialising with my friend Sharne an ex-bcc library lander. I fixed my bike seat height so I can cycle with ease up the mean old Scrub Road hill with ease and panache.

All in all - at present life is good and sweet and happy

Aaah the sweetness that is Friday...........

2008-10-23T20:17:00.001-07:00

and I don't have to work Saturday..... I think the anticipation of the weekend is better than the weekend itself, it is full of endless possibilities and lots of options filled with potential fun and frivolity! I think about all the things I would love to do and then think about the things I must do and must do's win over love to do. I would love to do brunch but I must do the vaccuuming - I would love to do a drive and go somewhere I haven't been before and visit a place but I must do the laundry - you can see where i am going with this.

The probable weekend will entail - training tomorrow morning, back home to do laundry and vaccuum, visit my cousins and then go babysit other cousins. Home again and then up early to drop flatmate off at the train station and then more assorted things to do, hopefully a bike ride and a Dixie walk (but could possibly squeeze a solo brunch in) and the off to lunch and a board game afternoon at a mates place.

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend.........

Success is so much the sweeter for the sweat...

2008-10-22T03:48:00.000-07:00

I have cracked the nut of audio book downloads for MP3 novels and am soo happy! I have been chided for sweating the petty things and not petting sweaty things (does that include men, Kath)
and yes I am normally serene and calm but I do get very frustrated when the simple things should work and don't for no apparent reason! I had an interesting training session with iSkills - Digital Photography management - lots of different cameras, some with cables, some without, some talked to the PC some didn't, so lots of scenarios and takes a lot of managing, luckily for me I had two fabulous colleagues who troubleshot the difficult queries so I could get on with the class. Now the thing I think separates me from other staff is that I don't care if the punters know that I don't know, but am willing to have a crack at it and see what happens. Some people might have thought I was woefully under prepared but I wasn't because I could not be expected to know all models of cameras that would be brought to the class - I just operated on the idea that they are like cars, they all drive in the same way but just have individual idiosyncrancies and let's figure them out together. But I learnt a lot from the class and will take the learnings and approach the next one with an adjusted focus (pardon the camera pun) and see how it goes!

Meanwhile I gotta dog to walk and a book to listen to on my flash little jobbie - its shiny red!

Oh happy days oh happy days...........

I've got side tracked somewhat..........

2008-10-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

I have kind of lost steam and progress with 23 things as I have been distracted into trying to download audio books via our providers and have had immense problems, in fact, speaking with a variety of colleagues it would appear that not a single solitary staff member has been successful in this endeavour. When something doesn't work and it should work - I tend to get a bit bull headed about it and keep persisting until I succeed, don't like to be defeated by technology!
Perhaps I should put this aside and keep progressing with 23 things and focus on that for a while but I don't want to - I know that sounds petulant but I get like that when things don't work for no good reason.

I am a bit concerned that when I conduct the iSkills Digital Photography session today that I will need to warn the patrons that it comes with a PG warning - because I fear that if I have any unforseen problems that my potty mouth is gonna erupt without fear or favour and the ears of the innnocent patrons may never be the same again.

My patience with obdurate technology is wearing rice paper thin at present and I am close to seriously doing my nut in a most inappropriate manner and possibly getting the boot in short order!

Stay tuned............

Technology is the pits................

2008-10-18T03:39:00.000-07:00

I have just spent the better part of 3 hours dicking around trying to download an audio book, not difficult you would imagine for someone endowed with common sense and nous but noooo..........
This is a service that is freely provided by a public library service but in lip service only, cause it don't work and I fail to see the point in offering something via a library catalogue that seriously does not work. Now, of course, I could have failed by missing a key component but I do not think so. I invite anyone who believes they can help me to be seated at my pc and I will provide nourishment and encouragement to that individual if they succeed where I have failed. A spectacularly successful exercise in frustration and serious irriation, how do our punters feel about it I wonder!!

I did it and I am so chuffed with myself......

2008-10-14T16:21:00.000-07:00

I rode to work today to honour my committment to the National Ride to Work day 15th October. I feel marvellous at the moment but time shall tell, by this afternoon it may be a different story and I have the ride home yet to do and a karate session tonight so the energy expenditure will be high today!
That's all for now folks........

Back at it............

2008-10-14T01:18:00.000-07:00

As I kill time posting a blog before resuming training tonight at karate, I wonder how I will fare tomorrow when I cycle to work to celebrate National Ride to Work Day 15th October - I enrolled a few months back and thought "yep no worries, I'll be fit enough, will have worked to a plan to achieve this without too much sweat and exhausting involved" and now the day is imminent and I am 7 kilos heavier and lot more unfit due to outside impacting factors and also due to the fact at heart I am a lazy lazy sod and will procrastinate to the ends of the earth before doing any exercise. But nonetheless I have made this committment and I shall see it through - God help me!

I have done a cycle a couple of times to work to suss it out and survived quite nicely but I didn't have to be in a non sweaty state to do it so a towel and soap shall be placed in the basket along with the uniform and handbag so I can shower myself back to my sweet smelling self.

Will let you know how it goes!

Home again Home again...jiggity jig

2008-10-12T21:49:00.000-07:00

There ain't no place like it - HOME - your place of retreat from the toils and frustrations of life. I have missed my home, my animals and my bed, Oh god have I missed my bed, my back is going to be awhile forgiving me for the insults I have caused it to suffer. Mum's little house was a burstin' at the seams so I had the choice of floor, couch or share with her. I tried sharing with Mum, but the woman is a bed and cover hog and difficult to share a bed with, the floor is too hard and the couch was too soft! Salvation came in the form of George's house (mum's partner) , George was away and had offered me the house as a retreat and spare bed which after two nights and a crippled back I took him up on. I would take his dog Bonny out for a run on the farm as she was cooped up in a back yard while he was away and being a border collie/kelpie cross, this dog has energy to spare no matter how much ball retrieval you do. She also made good company out at George's place which is off the beaten track a little and she is a good watch dog too.
Back to work and normal routine tomorrow including Karate, Oh boy do I have some work to catch up on in relation to Karate training but no matter I shall get there!
Until next time.........

Back online....

2008-10-11T19:04:00.000-07:00

I am typing this new post on Mum's very cute new eec pc laptop my brother Steve bought her for an early birthday present! It is small, typing is of the two fingered pecking variety but effective enough for Mum's requirements. It may seem strange but i have enjoyed being up n the coast being with Mum, although there has been a lot of to'ing and fro'ing to dr's and treatment. Mum has been fairly blessed and not had too rough a time of it, in fact yesterday she was feeling so good she was in the garden laying out mulch despite my scolding, she is a little sore today but mostly OK.
I have been the domestic queen this past week , washing, cleaning and cooking, its been good to be of practical use, i am much better at doing things for people than offering emotional pats on the back although i can do that too in a pinch.
It is now a period of wait and see for a month then back to the radiologist to see what impact the radium has had on the tumours, reduction in size is what is expected and elimination is what is prayed for but no change or increase in size is what is dreaded.
But we can only hope, pray and beseech the entities of belief for a fair go!
I am looking forward to returning to my normal routine tomorrow and seeing my much missed and pined for fur balls, tho i am blessed that my flatmate Peter is so good at taking care of them and not just feeding them but playing, interacting and talking with them!

Going offline for a while..........

2008-09-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

I am taking some time off from work to head up to my mum's place while she is having radium treatment as her partner George has to head up to Mt Isa for some family stuff himself and I have promised Mum and George to make myself available whenever needed and I am blessed to work for an organisation that allows me to make that promise and know that I will be able to keep it. However, Mum's more critical need is a blood transfusion which she cannot have at present due to QLD supplies being so low and it is being prioritised for life threatening critical cases, which is understandable. I am begging all eligible people I know to donate a pint this week to help our supplies increase. Mum is struggling to catch her breath, her energy levels are non existent and she is really miserable, it is amazing to see the different that a blood transfusion makes. So if you are reading this and are eligible to donate blood, I beg of you, please take the time to make a donation, the staff at the blood bank really do make you feel special and valued for they the difference your time makes to so many people.
I am going to be offline for a week or so until I return home.

Au revoir............

Getting there............but I might need to revisit

2008-09-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently I have reached the half way mark for this 23 things caper. Although I suspect I have galloped (me gallop, never) through some sessions and will have to revisit them in particular Wikis & RSS feeds, still don't quite have them clearly understood.

Those that know me well, know that I have tendency to charge in and have a go at something, generally missing the finer details until later on in the game. So I have probably raced through some of the sessions, but this works for me as I get an overall picture of what I know and don't know and then I go back and fiddle with the things I don't know but am interested in.

I have to say I am spending more time than ever in front of a pc and my god, can you waste time on it. Trolling through Youtube alone, could consume days of your life you will never get back. I have got my cousin all fired up about Facebook, she sent me a pre-emptory message to get thee over to her place pronto and help her understand what Facebook is about but when I got there she was doing more stuff than I ever have on Facebook, stuff I haven't even bothered with ie posting videos, photos etc etc. So I guess there is something for everyone on Facebook if you care to look.

Weekend, what weekend....

2008-09-27T01:46:00.000-07:00

I am working this weekend at Chermside, they were shorthanded for Saturday and offering overtime so I put my hand up, never sneeze at O/T on offer, since the mortgage never quits being hungry for money with the credit card hot on its heels. But it hasn't stopped me having fun, as mentioned in previous post I went to the Pink Floyd Experience, my friends and I appeared to be on the younger end of the demographic, surprised at the age of some of the attendees. Slightly alarmed to see a Nun (in full habit) in interval, but as she passed me I noted with relief, the My Fair Lady program she had clutched in her hands. Not sure what I would have thought had I seen a Pink Floyd experience program in her hands instead.
All in all I enjoyed, we had dinner at Ahmet's turkish restaurant at Southbank that does a roaring trade, no wonder, with the size of the freaking serves, I was hungry but I could only do justice to half of my delicious meal. On to Pink Floyd Experience, which turned out to be a concert featuring all Pink Floyd material, lots of flashing lights, techno trancey music. I recognised about 5 songs, all in all an enjoyable experience.
An early night tonight since I am back at Chermside tomorrow and I put in a good days work for my money earned.
Then I get to go to my auntie's for roast lamb dinner and I would most definitely turn down Tom Cruise for it.

TGIF..............well almost....close enough for me

2008-09-25T01:55:00.001-07:00

I am totally and utterly buggered, I should be training tonight to make up for missed classes, but this little duck just couldn't, there was nothing left in the engine tonight! I have never looked forward so much to Friday but I am tonight, I suspect it might be that I am not working Saturday which always make the alternate Friday a lovely prospect when one is not working the following Saturday. I also have a nice prospect to look forward to, I have been invited by a cycling buddy to a PINK FLOYD experience, now I enjoy Pink Floyd as much as the next person but I am not sure what to expect from an experience of Pink Floyd but I shall find out Friday night for certain and get back to you on that. So dinner out, good company, entertainment set, all in all a good night looks certain.

It's getting warm in here............

2008-09-21T23:59:00.001-07:00

Well I dressed for summer today, in a nice summer dress and leather sandals and went head onto into the day but forgot to check the legs, yes, whoops, time for the Venus to be dragged into action.
I have a new credit card in the hopes that I can reduce the outstanding bill to nothing in short order. I never intended to have more than one but after refinancing a couple of times and being too lazy and intimidated by banks to close the associated credit card after moving banks I ended up with 3 with a little on each. But no fear, I have organised myself this time and closed them down and rolled the balances over into one account and one bill to pay each month and hopefully the balance will be reduced in due course. I have a friend who deals with banks and mortgages all the time without feeling any emotion, moves banks if they can offer a better deal without hesitation.
I, on the other hand, am utterly intimidated by banks and their staff, will happily pay bills and fees etc but ask for anything, oh no, never do that! I hate phoning banks up, I hate going into them, god forbid, they want to do a needs analysis, I feel like I am standing to be chastised by the school principal. I pay my bills, I live my life happily but there ain't much left at the end of the month so savings are not flash yet I feel backward for not having a slew of investment properties by now and a newer car etc. I take pride that I own everything in my possession including my car and have no "Harvey Norman" debt as I call it. The bank and I regularly tussle for larger portions of ownership of my house, its about 55/45 in their favour, but I will prevail one day and have ownership of my abode.

Of course as we near Christmas, the junk mail is ever increasing, the deals get ever more enticing but though I flirt with the glossy prints highlighting all the pretty shiny new things on offer I steadfastly resist the siren call of "buy now, interest free, take home today, interest free for 36 mths"
That reminds me that I must start getting sorted for Christmas and think about nice things to buy people who by and large I love very much but sometimes drive me to the slippery brink of insanity.
That's all for now Folks........

Adjusting & Adapting...........

2008-09-20T02:22:00.000-07:00

This is probably a far more personal post than previous ones, so be warned... My aunt and I did a quick trip up to the Sunshine Coast on Friday night because we had received word about my Mum's condition, she is currently fighting small cell carcinoma and I thought, doing quite nicely. However unbeknownst to me Mum had an appointment with her radiologist to organise her radium treatment and he is a very good doctor and has a lovely manner by all accounts but he don't sugar coat news. He advised mum that the radium will give her time but the cancer will come back guaranteed in her lungs and quite likely hit her brain as well. Since he had been the first medical practitioner since the whole thing has started to be kindly blunt with her, she had a reasonably predictable reaction, got on the phone to her mum, my nan and bawled her eyes out down the phone. So my mum who is the original cock eyed optimist and glass half full kinda gal, had the blinds ripped off and had to face her own mortality which according to the radiologist is a matter of months not necessarily years which is what we had kind of been thinking. But as women do when they gather, when my aunt (mum's sister) and I arrived, there were tears and hugs and more tears but within a half hour there was giggling, laughing and outright howls of laughter. So i felt better for having seen my mum and cuddled and stroked her cute but baldy head and hugged her some more. So there will be quality time spent with mum not quantity time but she will fight the good fight as long as possible but I suspect surrender with good grace if and when the time comes.
So as i adjust and adapt to visualising this new reality with my mum not in the picture, I hope I am as tough and indominitably spirited as my mum is.......

Pffffffftttt, that's the sound I am hearing now in my head

2008-09-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

Getting into the swing of 23 things now and I am reaching critical mass with my information intake! I am thinking up funny (read rude) ditty's for Blogs, Wikis and RSS to alleviate my stress! I think I will take a step back and let it digest for a week or so and then do some more of my modules. The biggest thing I am having to adjust to is how RSS and Wiki's will work with libraries and day to day running of them, watching the Youtube explanation is great, makes perfect sense and very easy to understand how it could apply to the benefit of staff in libraries. I am reading all recommended links and I guess I have to leave time for the old lightbulb to ping in my head and then I will have my "Get it, Got it, Good" moment.

I think I will go for a long bike ride on Sunday to clear my head and not think about computers or anything whatsoever to do with them.

Hmm RSS

2008-09-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

Ok I have watched the Youtube explanatory video on RSS, but I still don't get it, clearly having a dim moment! I guess it's because I don't understand why you want information constantly streaming in, I would rather seek it out when it suits me, for instance, I subscribed to Library Links and for a while read them religously when the arrive but now find myself dumping them in a folder in G'wise for reading later, which means they don't get read!
But I have set up with Google Reader with the recommended RSS feeds including the Powerhouse Museum one so I guess I can tick myself done with RSS for the moment

Thank heavens that's done...........

2008-09-16T00:05:00.000-07:00

Well I did it, I held the inaugural Web 2.0 session at CNL. It went off well, lots of questions and lots of heated debate especially about privacy and who can see what and what you can do about it! Having had my nose tweaked this morning about a particular Facebook conversation, I learned how to ratchet up my privacy levels and be a bit more choosy about who can see what, when and how in my Facebook profile. But you live and learn, now don't you, every day of the week.
It brought to mind that how as a young lass and teenager I was physically incapable of keeping a diary because my mother always told me don't ever write anything down that you don't want to be held against you, so the few times I was given a diary, it remained unwritten in and as pristine as the day it was printed (it also didn't help that I had a very very nosy little brother), so for me to be keeping a blog is quite revolutionary or is that evolutionary, no matter, a blogster I have become, a blogster I shall remain.
I leave you with this....
The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right. Hannah Whitall Smith, 1902

Note the pic....I am a clever sausage

2008-09-14T01:19:00.000-07:00

Greetings

I have been fooling about on the pc a lot this weekend in between watching for whales and perusing dancing stallions (no, not a male strip show). I have managed to tidy up my photo library on my pc and photos are now in folders and tidily organised, instead of a box or pc equivalent thereof
I have uploaded a pic of moi on my blog and am chuffed at myself for doing so, I am learning some serious shi... er i mean skills on this 23 things capers. Got a few decent pics on the whale watching trip and once you edit out the acres of blue ocean you can actually see real evidence of whales were seen. They were friendly critters, I think they were on a human watching expedition as much as we were on a whale watching cruise.

Now watching the dancing stallions accompanied by flamenco guitarists and flamenco dancers, well that stirred the romance in my soul especially seeing the gorgeous black Friesian stallions, my my they are beeyoootiful! My cousin Shanon and I are determined that before we kick the bucket we shall have ourselves a pair of these beyootiful horses to play with, such luxurious manes , luscious tails and gorgeous confirmation!

I have had a marvellous weekend and am feeling very happy and mellow and quite blessed with all the good things in my life and reading an article on how to be happy, I realise that I have cracked this nut and enjoy happiness on a daily basis.

Until we meet again............

TGIF.........

2008-09-11T23:18:00.001-07:00

I have been getting organised for my inaugural training session on Facebook & Youtube next Tuesday. I had a chat with my colleague from CDE Jamie who has already done this session this week and got a few tips and ideas for managing the tsunami of questions that the punters will undoubtedly have. I have printed off a few help screens for those that like to clutch paper in the hopes that all will be revealed within. My fervent hope is that my dear colleagues have grilled the clients as to their mouseability and internet savvy so that we have a forward moving class rather than one that will spin its wheels while some poor punter says with all innocence "Excuse me Miss, but what is a mouse"

My weekend is shaping up to be a busy one, the old adage is a true one, it never rains but pours! Tomorrow I am off to watch whales somewhere in the vicinity of Gold Coast waters, hopefully the sightings will be good and yes I will hang on to the side and not get bowled over if the waves are rough and then sunday I am off to watch the dancing stallions and, no, it is not a male revue show, though that wouldn't go astray as an entertainment option. The dancing stallions are just that and are accompanied by flamenco dancers and guitarists, so it should be a blast.

Monday I feel will be a restful day, with some necessary housecleaning done!

Au revoir for now........

Now I've done it................

2008-09-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

Uploaded my pics to Flickr, another damn email to remember, lucky i use the same password for everything, otherwise i think i would be on the road to insanity!
Now I have been taking pics of my pets, well the ones that would cooperate by remaining still for me long enough. My dog Dixie detests the camera, I think I spooked her once long ago with the flash and she has yet to trust me with a camera again, so most pics show her head as far away from the camera as possible. But its been a fun couple of hours mooching around learning how to use Flickr and upload stuff, they really do use the CIG (complete idiots guide) school for teaching now don't they!!

I trained last night and while I was completely knackered afterwards, I felt really good, its amazing how good natural endorphins feel when they are flowing through the body. Something that Shihan said last night has stuck with me, its about being in the moment, when you are playing just play, when you are working just work and when you are resting just rest. If you
are completely in the moment you will get far more out of what you are doing than having your mind ahead to the next thing awaiting your attention. So i am going to try to follow that, instead of having my attention in 3 different directions, just do whatever it is i am doing at that precise moment.

Thought for the day....

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.
George Sand (1804 - 1876)

Do what has to ............

2008-09-09T16:23:00.000-07:00

Do what has to be done, when it has to be done, to the best of your ability, all of the time! - When you think about these words, they are really a template for how to live a life. I try to keep them in mind for when the urge to procrastinate has me in its grips!
I first heard these words from my karate instructor and they resonated with me as a way to stop procrastinating and get on with things when I don't want to do them,like domestic chores, food shopping, visiting irritating relatives that you do love but sometimes find hard to like and on the list goes. When I start studying next year I suspect domestic chores will develop an irresistible attraction and the house will be immaculate before I summon the discipline to knuckle down to the required study.
I have found studying karate to be a very beneficial thing, not only for the physical disicipline but also the mental and emotional discipline, it forced me to address many of my so called fears and I have felt very empowered by doing this, for example, the idea of storytelling used to horrify me, would rather crawl over broken glass than do it. Now, bring it on, nothing really fazes me, except for the idea of scuba diving, but since I don't have gills, or a need to submerge myself regularly under water, I don't think it will be an issue.
Till next time.............

Now where was I....

2008-09-08T01:45:00.000-07:00

Reading through the getting started bit of "23 Things" I came to realise my blog should be more directed at how I feel, what I experience and what I achieve while meandering and/or gallivanting through the process. I am pretty impressed at how determined the BCCLS is that all staff shall have the opportunity to learn and experience 23 things and surprised at the scepticism displayed by some that time won't be allocated to their learning and adamant that it won't be done at their home which is perfectly legitimate and understandable. I guess it is a different way of looking at things and where you might be in your life. But to my mind if you stop learning you stop living. I try always to be open to learning new things and I am blessed to be in a job that allows me to learn new stuff every day and sometimes several times a day.
On another tangent, it has always amused me that i am often consulted by my colleagues to sort out technical woes at work and for some strange reason, I often fluke a solution (and truly that is all that it is, a fluke). If these same colleagues could see me at my home cursing a blue streak at the set top receiver I have had for close to 18 mths and cannot figure out how to install it successfully, they would shriek with hysterics and now I have speakers to my my PC - connected correctly I am positive - that refuse to work, which is causing some consternation since I can't continue my progress at home with 23 things until this dilemma is rectified. I am lucky that the family possesses a few tech-heads that will come to my rescue this week. I leave you with this thought.........
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

Bit of this, bit of that, some of the other!

2008-09-05T01:31:00.001-07:00

I was feeling very ho hum this morning, took ages to get moving! Thank heavens I was on an RDO, because I don't think I would have posed much value at work, that's for sure!
But I did the housework as required for good hygiene standards and then did the ironing and in the midst of cursing the wretched ironing board upon i was ironing, I realised that it was a donation and I hadn't actually bought it, which prompted the thought that perhaps I should peruse ironing boards and buy one that stays upright and still while one is ironing. This necessitated a trip to Big W, now I can't speak for readers of this blog (oh how few they are) but I love Big W, I have yet to figure out the particulars, but I love the layout of the store, love the range and just love the prices! But still I was rather astonished at the prices of ironing boards given that I had not bought one previously as my current one was a hand me down from my aunty. The one i purchased for a princely sum of $100 will serve me well, as it is very large and wide and very stable and has this cool thingy for the iron itself, and slots very nicely beside the fridge when not in use.
The other domestic issue currently plaguing me is the metal circle doohickeys that sit above the elements in my stove, mine are all rusty and icky and have been disposed off since they are cosmetic and not essential to the workings of the stove but i would like to replace them since the stove looks kinda naked without them, like a house without eaves!
But i did buy nice stainless steel cover for the elements which makes the stove look almost new!

From Reading to Blogging

2008-09-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

After a few years of reading many and varied blogs about all manner of topics and occasionally featuring in said blogs, the time has come, thanks to the launch of BCCLS program "23 things" I have been nudged gently into the creation of my very own blog!
I hope that as my blogging skills improve, the blog will prove reasonably interesting to read! Considering the blogs I read daily, the yardstick is set high. In any case I look forward to reading my colleagues blogs regularly and getting to know them on a different level